Would You Attend a Funeral for Someone You Dislike?

Funerals are primarily for the living, even when the deceased is someone we find difficult to be around. In my experience, attending a funeral can provide a comfort not only to the grieving relatives but also to the living who wish to express their grief and support. Despite initial reluctance, I have come to understand the importance of participating in such ceremonies, especially when they pose a challenge to one's emotions and beliefs.

Decision to Attend the Grandfather's Funeral

My grandfather, a man I neither knew nor held in high regard, passed away. His behavior towards my grandmother and his divorce were factors that contributed to my negative opinion. On his 18th birthday, he sent a letter stating he would no longer acknowledge my birthday, which seemed peculiar. Initially, I balked at the idea of attending his funeral due to my strained relationship with him as an adult. However, I ultimately decided to go in support of my father, who held a deep respect for his father, even though it meant a 17-hour road trip.

Attending his funeral proved to be a profound experience. I witnessed his funeral with full military honors, including a moving rendition of Taps. The procession of around 100 cars through his small town in Missouri and the sight of people pulling over to pay their respects were touching. The inclusion of Masonic rituals was interesting, considering my mother's side of the family had a Mason. The highlight, however, was seeing his wife, who was not kind and had an affair, repeatedly slap his forehead in the open casket. This gesture, which she did not recognize, offered an unexpected sense of kindness and compassion, bringing uncontrollable laughter and relief to my mother and me through the sound and action.

Support and Connection

These moments at the funeral allowed me to reconnect with extended family members I hadn't seen in a long time. Even though his behavior was frustrating, his death brought families together and provided a sense of closure. The mutual struggle and eventual recognition during his wife's dementia provided a rare moment of understanding and connection.

Key Takeaways

Attending funerals for people we do not like can serve multiple purposes. It honors the deceased and provides comfort to their grieving relatives, especially during challenging times. These events also offer an opportunity to reflect on personal relationships and the complex nature of human connections, often revealing unexpected moments of grace and understanding.

Supporting loved ones during difficult times, even when we may not share the same bond with the deceased, can strengthen familial ties and create lasting memories. It's a testament to the true meaning of family and the importance of being present in each other's lives, regardless of personal feelings or opinions.