Why You Feel More Exhausted After Leaving a Toxic Relationship with a Narcissist
Dealing with a narcissist in a relationship is undoubtedly draining. However, I can attest that once you bounce back, staying strong can pay off in spades. My experience with a toxic relationship lasting only two years with a narcissistic roommate taught me that if you stay strong, you will come out wiser and a little better. Rejuvenation often follows such experiences.
The Aftermath of a Narcissistic Relationship
After breaking free from such a relationship, it is completely normal to feel drained and without energy. Narcissists take so much from us, emotionally and physically, while offering little in return. This can lead to a sense of being overtaken by a narcissistic vortex where confusion and exhaustion reign.
First Discard
After the first discard, I found myself bedridden and struggling to work. I was depressed due to an incident and unable to secure a job I wanted. My mind was foggy, and with minimal contact, this fog lifted. However, our contact resumed, leading to another fight. I was incredibly hurt and confused, blaming myself.
Second Discard
Before the second discard, I had regained my confidence, but he broke me down again. This time, it was a month of emotional push and pull, pushing me into paranoia and delusional thinking. I felt something had gone wrong with him during these months. When he was raging, it felt as if he was raging at someone else. I expressed that I was exhausted, and discard followed.
The aftermath was intense, leading to anxiety, sleep issues, and a lack of appetite. I found myself ruminating and feeling lost, even though I had previously been independent. At work, I struggled and, in hindsight, realized I was on auto-pilot, barely functioning. Both cycles were blamed on me.
Final Discard and Aftermath
The final round was particularly difficult. He came to finish the job, but knowing that he came to hurt me and triangulate with a new supply in the same city or country, it was a harsh reality. This prolonged and complex cycle created a triple whammy, re-evaluating the past two rounds and the accusations of being the crazy one. My body was broken, and I was severely underperforming at work.
However, I eventually found the strength to change my job and relocate. Despite the chaos and heartbreak, feeling exhausted and drained is a common and understandable reaction after such experiences. Narcissists deplete their victims and then seek new victims, often annihilating them at the discard stage.
Conclusion
If you find yourself in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, it is crucial to prioritize your well-being. Stay away from such individuals to prevent further emotional and physical depletion. With time and effort, you can regain your energy and identity, emerging stronger and wiser.