Why We Do Wrong Things Despite Knowing Better

Introduction to the Human Mind and Behavior

Have you ever found yourself doing something that you knew was completely wrong before, during, and after, yet you couldn't resist the temptation? This article explores the psychological underpinnings of such behavior, drawing from personal anecdotes to illustrate the complexities of the human mind and its struggles with self-control and decision-making. We'll explore the concept of poor risk assessment, the impact of addiction, and how our actions often reflect a fundamental imbalance in the fight between our desires and our better judgment.

Poor Risk Assessment

One of the most startling examples of poor risk assessment came from telling my girlfriend to calm down when she was upset. Her distress was palpable, but my hasty reassurance completely disregarded the gravity of the situation. Another instance involved catching the belt before my mother hit me, an action that, despite being terrifying and dangerous, served only to demonstrate my poor risk assessment capabilities.

Engaging in such behaviors might seem selfish or illogical, yet they highlight a common human weakness. In essence, we sometimes prioritize short-term gratification over long-term repercussions, leading to actions that, in hindsight, we wish we could take back.

Addiction and Its Toll

Perhaps one of the most profound and debilitating forms of poor decision-making stems from addiction. An example is my 6-year affair with a married man while I was also married. The decision to pursue this relationship, despite the complexity and morality of it, stemmed from a deep-seated desire for connection and intimacy. It became evident that I was risking not only my own well-being but also the future of both families involved. Yet, I couldn't stop myself from engaging in this affair, as the addiction to emotional satisfaction was too strong.

Another illustrative example is when I heard about a cruel prank on someone. My coworker, the manager, was a notorious figure, but witnessing her abuse and her demise in this way was a turning point for me. This event reinforced the notion that sometimes, we can feel an inexplicable sense of joy or relief in the misfortune or downfall of others, even if we inwardly regret it. It's a dark facet of human nature that highlights the complexity and often contradictory aspects of our emotional responses.

Unhealthy Habits and Guilt

There's also the matter of guilt, often stemming from actions that serve our immediate desires at the expense of our long-term health and well-being. For instance, my use of polybags, despite feeling immense guilt over it, is a clear example of how habits can persist even when we recognize they are harmful. In the same way, many people engage in unhealthy behaviors like excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, or drug use, knowing the risks yet finding it impossible to resist the allure of immediate satisfaction.

Personal experience with addiction gives me insight into the power of these vices. I have been in recovery for 27 years, free from alcohol and in recovery from a 7-year addiction to nicotine products. Every drop of alcohol or cigarette smoked is a stark reminder of the damage these habits can wreak. The guilt and the fear of relapse perpetually shape my mindset, making it abundantly clear that the fight against addiction is an ongoing battle that requires constant vigilance.

Conclusion

Ultimately, our decision-making processes are deeply influenced by a variety of factors, from our risk assessment skills to our emotional responses to addiction and guilt. Understanding these dynamics can help us to better navigate our choices and improve our ability to make decisions that align with our long-term goals and values. Whether it's a night owl who struggles with bedtime or someone battling addiction, recognizing and addressing these underlying issues can lead to a more fulfilling and healthier life.