Why Some Mothers and Fathers Choose to Work While Raising a Family

Deciding whether to work or stay home while raising a family can be a challenging decision for many parents. This choice is influenced by a variety of personal, financial, and societal factors. For the majority of mothers and fathers, the decision to work is driven by a combination of these factors.

Financial Reasons

The most common reason for parents to choose to work while raising a family is financial necessity. In many households, both parents need to contribute financially to support their children and maintain a certain standard of living. For instance, paying for daycare, feeding and clothing the children, and maintaining their home can be costly.

Consider this real-life example: Both parents were in the early stages of their business ventures when their children needed to be raised. They couldn't afford daycare, and one parent working meant they could manage monthly expenses like mortgage payments and car loans. The mother was making a slightly higher income, which allowed them to navigate these tough financial times and ensure their children had what they needed.

Personal and Social Life

Being a parent means spending a lot of time with children, sometimes to the point of isolation. Mothers and fathers may feel the need for adult social interaction and personal fulfillment outside the home.

One narrator mentions the desire for adult conversations. She says, 'I had several reasons at different times with different children. First child. He was in half day kindergarten I wanted to talk to another adult. Next time we had already adopted a few and kids are expensive. I worked evenings when my husband was home. Next a couple kids were really having problems no one seemed to have advice that would help and I desperately needed a break. I volunteered for lots of extra shifts. Then things settled down. The only 2 at home were in school and I was bored. Now I'm 67 and still working outside of the home even though I still have a couple kids who are unable to live independently.'

Educational and Career Aspirations

Many mothers and fathers are not content with staying at home full-time, especially if they have been trained for skilled jobs. They may feel unfulfilled or see the potential for personal and career growth. These individuals may also be afraid of being overlooked for promotions or professional advancement if they take a break from their careers.

A single mother, commenting on her choice to work, mentions, 'To be honest, I don’t think either of us was suited to staying home full time. The kids grew up to be intelligent, hard-working, kind, and thoughtful adults. It worked out well. They understood that people had to work to meet the costs of living.'

Societal and Cultural Influences

Society often places a strong emphasis on the importance of both parents contributing to the family's well-being. The narrative of two-income families has become increasingly common, and the stigma of living solely off one income while raising children has diminished. Many mothers and fathers feel a need to be more financially independent and to provide stability for their children.

Personal Stresses

Long-term isolation and constant childcare can be exhausting for both mothers and fathers. They may experience loneliness, stress, and burnout. In these instances, working can alleviate some of the pressure and provide a much-needed break from the monotony of staying at home. Parents often seek out extracurricular activities, like volunteering for extra shifts, to break the monotony and provide a sense of purpose.

A more recent example, a single mother, works despite having children who have special needs. "I read a lot and enjoy crafting and baking, but I enjoy a paycheck even more." This illustrates how financial stability can be a significant motivator, especially when dealing with the added complexities of raising children with additional needs.

Conclusion

While staying home to raise children can be rewarding, many parents, particularly mothers and fathers, choose to work while raising their families for a variety of reasons, including financial stability, personal fulfillment, and career aspirations. The decision to work is not a one-size-fits-all choice, and what may work for one family may not work for another. Ultimately, the choice should be based on what best serves the family's overall well-being and financial security.