Why Don't Parents Include Kids in Their Will?

Parents often make provisions in their wills to ensure their children are taken care of in the event of their passing. However, there are instances where parents choose not to include their children in their wills for a variety of reasons. These reasons can range from personal beliefs and practical considerations to strategic planning and emotional conflicts.

Emotional and Personal Reasons

There are several emotional and personal reasons why parents might leave their children out of their wills:

Spite or Revenge: Some parents might include their children out of spite or to enact revenge if the children have not aligned with their political stance, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or chosen partner. Such enmity can often stem from a desire to upset or hurt the children. Personal Beliefs: Some parents believe that their adult children should be responsible for their own financial futures. They might feel that leaving them money would encourage a sense of entitlement rather than self-reliance. Alternatively, they might want their financial legacy to support causes they are passionate about.

Practical and Sensible Reasons

There are also practical and sensible reasons for leaving children out of a will:

Competency Concerns: Parents might have concerns about their children's ability to manage inherited wealth. Given the potential for mismanagement or wasteful spending, they might opt to create a trust with specific conditions rather than leaving their assets outright. Family Feuds: Family conflicts can arise that make it difficult or undesirable for parents to include all of their children in their wills. These conflicts might be based on a history of poor financial decisions, ongoing disputes, or previous disagreements over inheritance.

Examples and Considerations

One example involves a woman who had close, but ultimately estranged, relationships with her maiden aunts. The aunts left her out of their will due to her history of wasteful spending and sense of entitlement. Before their deaths, they took her to a dealership and purchased a brand-new truck, paid for in cash, to support her in a tangible and practical way. This action showed their concern for her well-being without leaving her a large sum of money that she might squander.

Another common reason for not including children in a will is to avoid setting unequal precedents. If a parent has already financially supported one child significantly more than another, they might decide to leave the less-favored child out of the will to avoid favoritism or feeling obligated to level the playing field.

Conclusion

How and why people distribute their worldly goods when they are gone is a deeply personal decision. While most parents make provisions in their wills for their children, there are valid reasons for parents to exclude certain children. Understanding these reasons and the importance of clearly stating intentions in a will can help ensure that one's final wishes are honored and that their estate is managed in the manner they desire.