Why Do I Hurt Myself for Others? Understanding Self-Sacrifice and Seeking Help

Your question is a deeply painful one, reflecting a struggle many people face. It seems like you are confusing real love and compassion for others with a harmful form of self-sacrifice. While true love and compassion aim to benefit all involved, self-sacrifice often leads to personal harm and dissatisfaction.

The Dangers of Self-Sacrifice

First, it's important to understand that putting your own needs and desires aside to prioritize others can be a sign of low self-esteem, poor boundaries, and unmet personal needs. It can feel like you are being "selfish" when you take care of yourself first. However, self-care is not a selfish act; it is a necessary and healthy practice for maintaining physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

This behavior can be linked to past experiences of abuse or trauma. If you have had to take care of others at the cost of your own well-being, it can perpetuate a cycle of self-neglect. Over time, this can lead to severe emotional and physical damage.

The Need for Professional Help

Getting assistance from a counselor or therapist can be a crucial step in breaking this cycle. A professional can help you understand your motives, set healthy boundaries, and learn to prioritize your own needs without feeling like you are being "selfish." They can also help you work through any underlying trauma or abuse that may be contributing to your behavior.

Exploring the Reasons Behind Self-Harm

Your brother's comment about choosing "broken bitches" to avoid focusing on himself might resonate with your situation. It suggests a pattern where you are putting others' needs above your own as a way to avoid dealing with your own emotional pain or insecurities. This can be a defense mechanism, but it ultimately leads to self-harm.

There are two main options: continuing down the path of self-sacrifice or making a conscious decision to prioritize your own well-being. If you choose the latter, it involves a significant amount of self-assessment and work. You need to focus on building yourself up rather than constantly depleting your energy.

Take the First Step: Prioritizing Yourself

Perhaps it is time to distance yourself from people who do not value or respect you. Until you feel confident that you are only giving them what you have to give, it may be best to limit your time with them. Instead, focus on building a support network of people who genuinely care about your well-being.

Practicing self-care and mindfulness can help you re-evaluate your relationships and priorities. It's essential to recognize that you only have these precious moments to enjoy life. Depleting yourself to the point where you may never recover is not a healthy choice.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or like you need help, don't hesitate to reach out. Whether it's to a friend, family member, or professional, there is no shame in seeking support. Taking the first step can be challenging, but it is a crucial step towards a healthier, happier life.

Conclusion

Your struggle is real, and it's natural to feel stuck or confused. However, by understanding the reasons behind your behavior and seeking help, you can break free from the cycle of self-sacrifice. Remember, it's never too late to take care of yourself and your well-being.