Understanding your Decision to Cancel a Therapy Session

Often, the act of canceling a therapy session may or may not get your therapist's attention. However, it's more beneficial to approach the situation with a conversation with your therapist. Instead of jumping to conclusions, it might be more helpful to discuss your thoughts of cancelling with them. Your therapist can provide valuable insights to help you understand the underlying emotions and reasons behind such thoughts.

Transference: A Complicated Concept

Your therapist might be interpreting your thoughts of cancelling as part of a phenomenon known as transference. Transference is a psychological concept where patients project their feelings and attitudes about significant figures from their past onto their therapist. This can manifest as strong positive feelings, such as feeling cared for or valued.

It's natural to wonder about the nature of the relationship when you have such intense feelings towards your therapist. However, understanding this dynamic is more complex in therapy, as therapists typically won't provide a direct answer about their feelings towards you. This is done to maintain professional boundaries and to help you work through these emotions independently.

Seeking Attention: A Potential Compulsion

The idea of cancelling a session to seek attention is a strategy some people might use to elicit a certain response from their therapist. The therapist's reaction could be a "test" to see how they will respond, whether it's reaching out, feeling angry, or showing concern.

When I was in therapy, I found that not knowing how my therapist felt about me could be beneficial. If they responded with a neutral or business-like manner, I felt hurt knowing that I was just another patient. Conversely, if they had a particular fondness for me, it could feel over-stimulating or threatening. The uncertainty might provide a sense of safety, neither confirming nor refuting any assumptions.

Addressing the Underlying Issues

If seeking attention is a concern for you, consider asking your therapist about it directly. Avoid acting out through cancellation by addressing the issue openly with your therapist. Explore the feelings and history that underlie this behavior, as it's likely rooted in deeper psychological or emotional dynamics.

The key is to be open and transparent with your therapist. This can help you better understand the reasons behind your actions and provide a path towards healing and growth. It's important to communicate your thoughts and feelings to ensure that your therapy sessions remain productive and beneficial for you.

Conclusion

While your desire to cancel a therapy session might stem from a compulsion to seek attention, it is almost certainly more therapeutic to address these feelings directly with your therapist. By doing so, you can work through complex emotions and gain valuable insights into your own psyche. Remember, your therapist is there to support and guide you, not judge or react to impulsive behavior.

Good luck on your journey towards healing and self-awareness.