When Asking About Visible Disabilities Offends: What You Need to Know
Introduction
Asking someone about their visible disability can be a delicate topic. While the intention behind the question might not be offensive, the approach and phrasing can make a significant difference. Here we explore why certain inquiries can be considered offensive and offer insights from individuals who deal with visible disabilities on a daily basis.
Understanding Why Asking Can Be Offensive
There's a line between curiosity and insensitivity. Just as you wouldn't want a stranger to scrutinize your medical history or personal weaknesses, individuals with visible disabilities share the same desire for privacy and understanding. When a person with a visible disability is asked about their condition, it can feel like an invasion of their personal space and an unnecessary reminder of their challenges.
Of Arms and Electrical Hazards
Example:
A man, missing part of his arm, was asked: "How'd you lose your arm?" He replied that he was wiring up a 440-volt electrical box and got careless.While the question seems innocent, it can be perceived as insensitive. Most people with visible disabilities, like the wheelchair user who uses an electric wheelchair, would not appreciate being asked such a question when the answer is clearly visible.
Why Should You Avoid Asking?
Asking about a person's visible disability is akin to asking them to share their weaknesses or difficulties. Would you appreciate being asked about your physical or mental challenges by a stranger? Most people would not. Even a life coach, who might feel comfortable sharing information, comes from a place of experience and understanding. For others, such inquiries can be hurtful and embarrassing.
Education and Empathy
People with disabilities often strive to live as normal lives as possible. They might not want to be constantly reminded of their disabilities. When you inquire about someone's condition, you are, in a sense, highlighting their differences. Instead, educate yourself through reputable sources and be empathetic. Try to understand their perspective and avoid prying into personal matters.
Quora Insights
This question often arises on Quora, where many blind individuals share their experiences. Here's a typical response:
"I don't think it's okay. If a stranger approached me and asked for my medical history including surgeries, I'd wonder: What does this person need to know? It's not their business. That's embarrassing." These sentiments reflect the shared experience of many individuals dealing with visible disabilities.
Respecting Privacy and Decency
Respect is paramount in any conversation. There are times when you might have a disabled family member or friend and the urge to compare stories. However, it is essential to recognize that such information is not necessary and often serves no purpose in a casual interaction.
In Public Settings
Public interactions, like those on a bus or in a store, can involve a larger audience. In these settings, asking detailed questions about someone's disability can be deeply embarrassing. It's best to respect personal boundaries and avoid making others feel uncomfortable in such public spaces.
Conclusion
While it's natural to be curious about people, it's important to avoid offending those around you, especially those dealing with visible disabilities. By being mindful of your questions and respecting others' privacy, you can foster a more inclusive and considerate environment.