What You Should Never Say to a Person Living in a Nursing Home

Interacting with someone living in a nursing home requires sensitivity and respect. Here are some common phrases and attitudes to avoid to ensure you provide the best support:

Avoid Dismissive Statements

When speaking with a resident in a nursing home, avoid making statements that downplay their feelings or experiences. Saying You’ll be fine it’s not that bad can invalidate their experiences and dismiss their emotions. This phrase can make them feel unheard and unvalidated. Similarly, avoiding phrases like At least you’re not alone can sound patronizing and dismiss their need for genuine support. The intention behind these statements may be to comfort, but they can have the opposite effect.

Avoid Judgmental Statements

Phrases such as You should be grateful for what you have can make residents feel frustrated or sad if they are going through a difficult time. Instead of focusing on what they have to be grateful for, it is better to understand their feelings and empathize with their situation. The statement I could never live like this can make them feel judged or pitied, leading to feelings of isolation and inadequacy. Such statements are not only unhelpful but can create a negative environment that may hinder their well-being.

Avoid Offering Unsolicited Advice

Statements like Why don’t you just... can come across as dismissive of their current situation. Offering advice without being asked can make residents feel unheard, leading them to question their own decision-making abilities. Additionally, telling them that they are lucky to be there or that being in a nursing home is better than being at home minimizes their challenges and can make them feel undervalued. For instance, You’re lucky to be here it’s better than being at home can minimize the difficulties they face daily.

Avoid Prying or Invasively Asking About Personal Information

Asking invasive questions like How long do you think you’ll be here? can bring up uncomfortable thoughts about mortality and permanence, which can be distressing. Instead, it is better to focus on being empathetic and listening to their stories. For example, if you know someone who is visiting a resident, it might be helpful to leave a message or congratulate them on their visit. You could say, I was thinking about you. I hope the best for you. If you need someone to chat with, please pass on my greetings.

Additionally, avoid asking personal questions such as Why are you there? unless the resident is comfortable sharing. Most residents prefer to avoid discussing their medical conditions or the reasons for their presence in the nursing home, as these topics can be challenging to talk about. Consulting with the nursing staff can provide more appropriate and sensitive communication.

Never Make Assumptions

Each resident in a nursing home is an individual with unique preferences and sensitivities. Therefore, it is important to never make assumptions about their likes, dislikes, or triggers. Instead, rely on their nursing staff to provide guidance on what statements and topics to avoid and what might make them feel better.

In conclusion, when interacting with residents in a nursing home, it is crucial to be empathetic, avoid making dismissive, judgmental, or intrusive statements, and respect their personal boundaries. By doing so, you can provide a supportive and positive environment that promotes their well-being and dignity.