Unserved: Signs You're Upsetting Your Bartender

Haha, funny you say this! The experience I had in college bars, where I only ordered the dollar drinks and never left a tip, was a glimpse into how bartenders operate. They often base a significant portion of their income on tips, which could lead to some unwanted consequences. Of course, each occasion where I was no longer served was notable, but it was a lesson I needed. During these times, it wasn't just about an order dismissed; there were subtle yet clear signs indicating the bartender was upset with me.

When a Bartender Is Upset with You

Several scenarios could unfold when a bartender is unsatisfied with a customer. They might directly address you, express their concerns, and either stop serving you or ask for your departure. In some less critical cases, they might simply ignore you, avoid your gaze, and behave differently compared to other patrons. Here are some tell-tale signs to look out for:

Signs the Bartender Is Upset with You

1. **Inattentive Service**: Pay attention if the bartender stops coming to your table or stops asking if you need another drink. They might no longer proactively offer service, preferring to wait until you make the first move.

2. **Procrastination and Excuses**: When trying to get their attention, they might make excuses to postpone service. Phrases like "Let me help this person," "Let me help so and so," or "Just a minute" might become more frequent. This indicates they are trying to offload the responsibility or possibly avoid serving you.

3. **Negative Body Language**: Watch for any changes in their behavior towards you. They might make concerned or negative glances, focusing their attention on another staff member. Discussions about needing to get you out of the bar, the potential for fights, or discussions about cutting you off and restricting your alcohol intake are telling signs.

4. **Social Signals**: Sometimes, the bartender might discuss internally what actions they are taking regarding you. They might talk about cutting you off for a period, restricting your access to alcohol, or even involving the police. These small, subtle conversations can be revealing.

5. **Physical Proximity**: If they start walking away from you or avoiding you entirely, it might be a sign they are unhappy with your behavior. This includes not standing nearby when you place an order or not coming to your station when you request service.

What to Do If You Think the Bartender Is Upset

If you suspect the bartender is unhappy with you, the best approach is to address the situation directly. As a seasoned bartender, I can attest that getting along with customers and fixing the issue as civilly as possible is the best way to go. If you walk up to the bartender and ask, "Has there been a problem?" or "Did I do something wrong?" the odds are high that they will let you know if you have, without you having to guess or speculate.

Conclusion

A bar is supposed to be a place where people can come to relax and unwind, not to create an environment for rowdiness and poor behavior. Enjoy your time, but be mindful of the bartender's cues. If you notice any of these signs, it might be time to reevaluate your behavior and ensure you're in a friendly and accommodating environment.

Thank you for the question, and remember to stay safe and have fun responsibly!