Understanding 'Please Wait a Minute': When and How Kids Comprehend

Abstract Concept of Time in Early Childhood

Children typically start to understand phrases like “please wait a minute” around the age of 2 to 3 years. At this stage, they begin to grasp basic concepts of time and patience, though their comprehension is still limited. By ages 4 to 5, most children have a better understanding of waiting and can follow such instructions more consistently. However, individual development can vary significantly, with some children grasping these concepts earlier or later. As a parent or educator, it's important to be patient and use appropriate methods to help them develop this crucial skill.

The concept of time is an abstract idea to children. A young child aged 3-4 years old might exclaim, 'It's 4 o'clock!' upon seeing the digital clock, but they don't fully understand the meaning of time. Only by the age of 6 do they begin to understand that time can be measured. The best way to start teaching your child about time is to provide specific examples. Use a clock with hands and explain:

The bus will come in 5 minutes. The cake will be ready in 10 minutes. We are leaving in 10 minutes.

The child will witness the hands moving on the clock and begin to understand the passage of time. This concept is reinforced at school, where kindergarten teachers teach clock-reading in a way that children can grasp. Although kids are introduced to the concept of time in kindergarten, they usually master the skill of reading a clock around the age of 7 or 8. Giving your child an inexpensive, fun watch can be a practical way to practice this concept. You can often look at it and talk about the time:

You may play for 5 more minutes. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes. We’ll be driving to the dentist for 20 minutes.

Hope you find this helpful. Good luck!

Respecting Children's Patience and Needs

Controlled Expectations vs. Abstract Concepts

Understanding and doing are two different things. When a parent says, "please wait a minute," it often means, "Put your need on hold until I'm done with something more important. When I'm done, you may need to remind me because your wants aren't as important as what I want to do." Of course, if the parent has already started something else important, the wait will be extended further.

What kids need is confidence that their requests will be considered when it's their turn. They need to feel that their needs are on the priority list. When they're very little, they have limited patience. They're wired to let those with the power to meet their needs know that they have a need. As those needs are consistently met, they grow confident that the big people will meet their needs.

A friend found it helpful to give a child a running breakdown of what the parent is doing while they're asked to wait. For example, 'I'm putting the spaghetti in the pot… Now I'm stirring it… I'm waiting for it to come back up to a boil… It's almost there… I'm turning the flame down. Now I'm on my way.' This helps the child understand that the parent is occupied but also moving towards the task at hand.

Respect and Consistency

From a child's point of view, when a parent says "wait a minute," that minute feels like an hour. The parent is busy! But the child can't fully grasp this. It's helpful for the parent to explain what they're doing and pass on information. This helps the child feel less ignored and more included in the process.

It's also crucial to use "just a minute" sparingly. Be as respectful of your child's time as you hope they will be of yours one day. If they constantly feel they're low on your priority list, that's how they'll learn to treat others.