Understanding Narcissists: When They Feel Stuck with a Secondary Source of Supply
When a narcissist feels stuck with a supply that they perceive as their second choice, their behavior can vary depending on several factors. This article explores the common reactions and tactics that narcissists might employ in such a situation.
Devaluation: Focusing on Perceived Flaws
Devaluation: Narcissists may start to devalue the second-choice supply, focusing on their perceived flaws or shortcomings to justify their feelings of dissatisfaction. This behavior can manifest as constant criticism or highlighting the imperfections of the secondary partner.
Seeking Validation Elsewhere: The Need for Admiration
Seeking Validation Elsewhere: Narcissists have a strong need for admiration and validation. In such situations, they might seek attention from other sources, such as friends, social media, or even new romantic interests. This movement can be a deliberate strategy to fulfill their emotional needs and maintain their self-image.
Manipulation: Maintaining Control
Manipulation: Manipulation is a common tool in the arsenal of a narcissist. They might employ tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim to maintain control over the secondary supply. These actions are often used to elicit sympathy or keep the secondary partner at their whim.
Emotional Withdrawal: Distant and Detached
Emotional Withdrawal: The narcissist might emotionally distance themselves from the secondary supply. They may become less engaged or affectionate, leading to confusion and insecurity in the other person. This emotional withdrawal can be a preemptive measure to protect themselves from deeper involvement.
Reevaluating Options: The Pros and Cons
Reevaluation of Options: Narcissists might reassess their options, considering whether to pursue a new supply or try to rekindle a relationship with their primary source of validation. This process can be a way for them to rationalize why they are unsatisfied with the secondary supply and possibly take action to improve their situation.
Maintaining the Status Quo: Living with Dissatisfaction
Maintaining the Status Quo: In some cases, if the secondary supply provides enough validation or meets their needs to a certain extent, the narcissist might choose to stay in the relationship. However, this does not mean they are content; rather, they are living with ongoing dissatisfaction.
It is important to note that if there are no other options available, a narcissist will drain all they can from the available source, whether positive or negative. They will never stop their search for a new fresh supply in secret, perpetuating a cycle of hoovering, devaluing, and discarding their partners with no re-idealization or love bombing.
At this point, the victim can no longer be seen as the perfect partner that the narcissist expected. Their human faults enrage the narcissist, as they feel disappointed and let down.
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