Understanding Narcissistic Partners and Their Behavior Towards Ex-Partners

If you've identified your partner as a narcissist and she continues to contact her exes, it's vital to understand why and how to navigate this challenging relationship.

Why Her Narcissistic Tendencies Lead to Contacting Ex-Partners

When a narcissist continues to contact her ex-partners, she is seeking supply, a term used in narcissistic psychology. Supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation she receives from others. Narcissists crave external validation, and ex-partners often provide a steady stream of this through continued communication and shared memories.

The Attention-Centric Reasoning

Your narcissistic girlfriend contacts her exes because she craves the attention she receives from them. This attention, whether it's through texts, phone calls, or social media, satisfies a deep-seated need for validation that she may not be getting from you. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for grasping her behavior.

Intimate Networks and Emotional Investment

Furthermore, many narcissists establish intimate networks with ex-partners, which often include sharing intimate photos or videos. This behavior can lead to emotional entanglement and further complicates the situation. The continued connection with ex-partners can be emotionally draining for you and detrimental to your relationship's stability.

Is It Normal for Narcissists to Keep Ex-Partners in Their Network?

The behavior of keeping ex-partners in one's life is a common trait among narcissists. They may maintain these relationships for various psychological reasons, such as:

Feeling Insecure and Dependent on Others' Validation

Your girlfriend's actions may stem from a deep-seated insecurity. She may use their continuous liking and validation as a substitute for her own self-acceptance. When an ex-partner still values her, it reinforces her belief that she is desirable, even if it's only through external validation.

Fear and Lack of Self-Love

Often, ex-partners represent a period of vulnerability or manipulation, which can intensify a narcissist's insecurities. The fact that her ex-partner no longer puts in as much effort may exacerbate these feelings. Her need to know that she is liked and valued by others, even ex-partners, serves as a form of emotional security.

Why Ex-Partners Matter in a Narcissistic Relationship

Many women in such relationships often feel a pull towards ex-partners due to the familiar dynamic and the emotional patterns they've established. The inability to fully believe in themselves and the need for this external validation can be deeply rooted.

The Power of Intention and Self-Belief

Understanding that our emotional patterns and behaviors, even those we are not aware of, play a significant role in our interactions is crucial. Narcissists often perpetuate these behaviors because they have not developed the emotional maturity to function without external validation. This need for supply can extend to ex-partners rather than current ones due to a lack of genuine emotional growth.

Conclusion and Seeking Help

Given the complexities involved, it is recommended to reassess the relationship. If you are deep into the relationship, the likelihood of her maintaining these connections and potentially cheating is high. Breaking up, especially early on, can help prevent emotional entanglement and protect your mental health.

Key Takeaways

Supply is a term used to describe the need for external validation in narcissistic relationships. Narcissists often maintain connections with ex-partners due to insecurities and the need for validation. Breaking up is recommended to avoid emotional entanglement and potential cheating.

For more insights and support, consider seeking help from a mental health professional or a relationship coach who specializes in managing narcissistic partners.