Understanding Autistic Responses to Yelling: A Personal Insight

Does anyone else who is autistic get really upset when people yell at them? I definitely do, and they'd better have a damned good reason for yelling at me. If they don't, I won't hold back when I'm verbally or physically attacked. After over 50 years of being abused and mistreated, I am done with judgment and abuse from neurotypical people.

Effects of Yelling on Autistics

Yelling doesn't just cause emotional distress; it can have physical and psychological effects that are profound and debilitating. When an autistic person, like me, is yelled at, it can make us withdraw and behave in ways that may seem abnormal. For instance, I wilt like a plant: I put my head down, get very quiet, and often stutter when trying to speak or, in extreme cases, just stop talking.

Personal Experiences

When I was a child, I was frequently labeled as the "crybaby" at home and at school. Being different and hated by my peers and teachers due to my autism, I was consistently bullied. This negativity persisted into my adult life, where my grandmother sometimes wondered if I was diagnosed when I was a baby. I still live with my grandparents, and I have Asperger's syndrome, which I've had my entire life, but was only diagnosed at the age of 16. Even now, I get yelled at for being different, mostly by my second eldest cousin who is 15 years old. I tell them to shut up and that I didn't ask to be born with autism or even to be born at all. I wasn't chosen by my mother; my grandmother wanted to ride a train during the last day of that activity's season. However, being different is not fair, and I am treated with ill intentions just for being myself and not them.

Isolation from Family

One way I cope is by retreating to my room in the basement. The upstairs only has three bedrooms, while the basement has two. I am fine with getting my own space to isolate myself from the family, especially when they yell at me for being different. Although I cry at times, I remind myself that I am not a baby; I am an adult with a life and feelings. The phrase "crybaby aspies who can't control their own emotions" stings, but I know I am not alone.

Physical and Emotional Threats

Yelling as a Physical and Emotional Threat: Yelling can feel like a life-threatening situation to an autistic person. The volume can be so painful and scary that it feels akin to experiencing something chaotic and threatening. In those moments, I have three choices: plug my ears, bear it, or hit myself to avoid hitting them. The last option, getting "shit on a shingle," means I might end up in jail, which is not an ideal outcome. The "black out" mode is another response, where I shut down mentally. It's a mixed bag; it can feel like a blunt force trauma but not a sharp one.

In these moments, the best scenario is for the person yelling to back down once I go into "black out" mode. This mode is crucial for my safety and well-being, and I assert that it's necessary for self-protection.

Conclusion

Autistic individuals struggle with the harsh reality of being yelled at, which can lead to extreme emotional and physical distress. For anyone struggling with these issues, please remember that these reactions are not something we can control. Understanding and empathy are essential to foster a supportive and inclusive environment for every individual.