Toilet Clogs: A Comprehensive Guide and a Humorous Tale

Have you ever experienced a situation where so much waste passed through your toilet that it became clogged? It is a common issue, often caused by overly solid waste or an improperly designed toilet. If you're dealing with a clogged toilet or need tips on how to prevent such issues, you've come to the right place. This article will provide you with a comprehensive guide, accompanied by a humorous and true story about a college prank.

The Cause of Clogged Toilets

Let's start with the basics. The cause of clogged toilets is typically excess waste or toilet paper. If you're dealing with severe clogs, it's important to address them promptly to avoid damage to your plumbing system. Here are some common reasons why your toilet might get clogged:

Excessive Solid Waste: Large quantities of solid waste or waste that is too dense can cause blockages. This is often more prone to happen when you deposit a large amount of harder waste rather than softer waste. Improperly Designed Toilets: Some toilets are designed in such a way that they cannot handle large volumes of waste. This can lead to clogs even with standard amounts of waste. Medications: Certain medications can cause the waste to become very solid, leading to blockages. As a former plumber, I've dealt with a variety of issues, and this is among the most common.

Dealing with Clogged Toilets

To address a clogged toilet, there are several methods you can try before calling in a professional plumber:

Plunger: A plunger is one of the first tools you should try. It helps create a vacuum that can dislodge clogs and clear the blockage. Baking Soda and Vinegar: A mixture of baking soda and vinegar can help dissolve the clog. Pour half a cup of baking soda down the toilet, followed by half a cup of vinegar. Wait for about an hour, and then repeat the process. Toilet Auger: A toilet auger, also known as a plumber's snake, is a long, coiled wire that can be inserted into the toilet to dislodge the clog from the inside.

Preventing Clogs in the First Place

To prevent clogs, you can adopt some simple habits:

Regular Flushing: Ensure you flush the toilet multiple times, especially after larger meals. This can help prevent solid waste from building up in the pipes. Use Appropriate Disposal Methods: Be mindful of what you flush down the toilet. Only flush toilet paper, toilette paper products, and human waste. Toilet Paper Quality: Choose high-quality toilet paper that dissolves easily in water. Avoid paper that is too fibrous or has been treated with harsh chemicals.

A Humorous Story: The Largest Human Turd in History

Now, for a lighter note, let's dive into a true story that happened during my college days. It was 1967, and I was a freshman at Parsons College in Fairfield, Iowa. One morning, there was a commotion coming out of the men's room. A group of guys were gathered around one of the toilets, laughing and pointing at something unusual. As it turned out, they had discovered the largest human turd known to mankind!

According to my memory, this "record-setting" turd was about 2 inches in diameter, with a light brown color and speckled with corn and unknown materials. It had grown so large that it rose up out of the bowl and leaned against the inside edge of the bowl, almost touching the flush water. Even the dorm's lack of doors couldn't hide this sight, as everyone in the hallway could see the commotion.

Unfortunately, no one had the foresight to save or analyze this extraordinary specimen. However, it remains an interesting anecdote, and when shared with a few beers, it often elicits laughter and a good joke at the expense of our college days.

While this might seem like a silly tale, it highlights the unexpected and sometimes humorous aspects of dealing with bathroom hygiene and plumbing issues. Just remember, when a toilet clog occurs, it's always better to act promptly and avoid such large, unanticipated blockages.