The Unforgettable Tradition of Smashing Wedding Cakes: Let’s Change the Game

When it comes to wedding traditions, some practices are deeply ingrained in our culture, while others seem outdated or even offensive. One such tradition that often raises eyebrows is the practice of smashing a wedding cake on the face of the bride or groom.

Origins of Smashing the Wedding Cake

Did you know that the tradition of smacking or tossing something at the newlyweds didn't start with wedding cakes? In fact, it evolved from the custom of throwing , a pair of pantaloons, a shoe, or even a loaf of wheat bread. The goal was to ignite the jealousy of their pregnant wives and hope for another heir. This practice eventually transitioned to smashing a cake, symbolizing the sweet yet challenging journey of marriage.

The Symbolism behind Smashing the Cake

The act of smashing the cake is supposed to symbolize the care and mutual support the spouses should provide to one another. However, the smashing of the cake, which results in a mess, seems to be the antithesis of kindness and partnership. A more appropriate symbolism would be to share a piece of cake using two forks, representing sharing and partnership.

Why I Refuse to Smash the Cake

If I were to get married again, or if I were asked to be a part of a wedding, I would never participate in the cake smashing tradition. First of all, marriage is a beautiful and solemn ceremony, and any behavior that could be construed as threatening or harmful to the couples involved would be disrespectful. As someone who values cooperation and mutual respect, I believe that marriage is doomed if the parties involved are not kind to each other.

Alternative Wedding Traditions

Let's explore some classier alternative traditions to replace the cake smashing:

Cut the Cake Together: Instead of smashing the cake, the newlyweds can cut the first piece together, symbolizing their shared commitment to their relationship. They can use two forks to share the first bite, which not only looks elegant but also symbolizes partnership and equality. Next Dance with the Catcher: Rather than putting the garter on the leg of the lady who caught the bouquet, the gentleman who catches the garter could have the next dance with the lady who caught the bouquet. This alternative not only avoids any unnecessary touching but also adds an elegant and respectful touch to the wedding. No Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties: Instead of wild bachelor and bachelorette parties the night before the wedding, let's embrace a more sensible approach. These excessive drinking sessions can lead to dangerous and uncomfortable situations, such as the scenario I witnessed in the 1970s. Perhaps a small farewell brunch or a meaningful message exchange would be a wonderful way to celebrate the upcoming nuptials.

A Horrifying Experience

During my time as a bridesmaid in the 1970s, I witnessed firsthand how a cake smashing ceremony could go terribly wrong. The couple in question seemed like they were wedded in the early 20s, and their celebration was marked by excessive drinking. Just the night before the wedding, we had the usual bachelor and bachelorette parties, which I found both distasteful and stupid.

The bridesmaid I was supposed to fetch drifted off to a puddle of and passed out. She was so drunk that I had to drag her into a shower and get her ready quickly in my own bridesmaid's gown. That was not a good sign. At the reception, the bride and groom turned and smashed the cake into the maid of honor's and best man's faces. The maid of honor was so upset that she walked out, while the bride and groom found the whole scene hilarious.

A few years after that, they got divorced. It might have been a sign of the times, but it didn't seem like either party was mature enough to sustain a relationship.

Conclusion

While traditions are lovely, they should serve a meaningful and inclusive purpose. Smashing a wedding cake or engaging in other humiliating practices will only harm the unity and joy that should be central to the celebration. As we move forward, let's choose wedding traditions that are more uplifting and respectful.