The Tactics of a Narcissist: How They Use Our Sympathy
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and confusing. These individuals are experts in manipulating others and drawing attention to themselves, often by feigning pity and using a wide array of tactics. In this article, we will explore the various methods a narcissist might employ to make us fall for their fabricated narratives and gain sympathy.
The Art of False Compassion
One of the most common tactics employed by narcissists is the use of false emotions. Often, they will cry or pretend to be distraught to manipulate their targets into feeling sympathetic towards them. This is a form of manipulation known as crying crocodile tears, where they exhibit apparent sadness or grief that is not genuine. The goal is to trigger an emotional response from others, with the intention of gaining their favor or sympathy.
Exaggerated Tales of Misfortune
Narcissists excel in telling tales of woe that they attribute to past relationships or personal misfortunes. They might recount stories of therapy sessions, contentious ex-wives, or mythical injustices inflicted upon them. These narratives serve to shift focus from their own manipulative behaviors and onto the perceived victimization they have endured.
Bricks and Broken Hearts
A particularly egregious example of a narcissist's manipulation is the story of a man who liked to put a gun to his head as a means of forcing his partner to conform. This level of behavior goes far beyond normal boundary-setting and involves actual self-harm to provoke a reaction. It serves to demonstrate the depth of the narcissist's perceived suffering and to make the victim feel guilty or complicit in their "troubled" existence.
Feigning Illness, Injury, and Scapegoating
Another common ploy employed by narcissists is the feigning of illness, injury, or being a family scapegoat. By acting as if they are suffering from a grievous condition or taking the brunt of family or workplace issues, these individuals can manipulate their loved ones into caring for them or sympathizing with their plight. This often involves gathering proof or trophies from their pretend experiences, such as souvenirs from an alleged ship explosion or metal frames from claimed injuries.
Financial and PropertyManipulation
Narcissists are also known for their slick manipulation of finances and property. They may claim that an ex-partner has wasted all their savings or continued to take advantage of their resources post-divorce. They often collect evidence and display it triumphantly, such as documenting the rise in the value of a house where their ex-partner has only been given life access.
Preparation and Reading Material
If you are dealing with a narcissist, it is essential to be well-informed about their methods and how they can be identified. One highly recommended resource is the book ‘Prepare to be Tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist’ by Mkirri Williams and John Clarke. In ‘50 Stages to Dating a Narcissist’, the authors outline the various stages and behaviors that one might experience when dating a narcissist, providing valuable insights into their manipulative tactics.
Additionally, the book is available both in print and as an audiobook, making it an accessible resource for those who prefer auditory learning. Understanding the nuances of a narcissist’s behavior can empower you to recognize the signs early on and protect yourself from falling into their traps.
In conclusion, understanding the tactics of a narcissist is crucial to avoid falling victim to their manipulations. By recognizing the red flags and being prepared, you can better protect yourself and navigate these challenging relationships.