The Success of Marriage: Love vs. Arranged in India
Marriage is a choice between two individuals, and its success does not lie in whether it was arranged or by love. While family plays a significant role in the process, the key to a successful marriage ultimately lies in the couple's own compatibility and effort.
A Journey from Rejection to Peace
My experience transitioning from a love marriage to an arranged marriage was quite illustrative of the challenges and joys associated with both types of marriages.
When my parents started searching for a groom for me, things looked quite different than what they might have anticipated. My family, typical Indian parents who believed that love marriages would falter early, rejected my choice. One of the reasons was that they believed my love marriage partner would change his priorities and eventually leave me, especially given his pursuit of better career opportunities.
On the other hand, my parents found an alternative match who was working in Dubai, from a good family in my mother's matrimonial circle. This candidate was backed with the credentials of a financial company and a good family background. However, like any traditional arranged marriage, the details were kept vague. I was merely a showpiece for the wedding and had no prior knowledge of the groom.
The Role of Astrology in Marriage
According to the family, the groom selected having similar kundlis was an excellent match. But there was a hitch: their Gotras were the same, which made the union impossible. This decision brought me and my partner some relief, but it was short-lived. The mother kept trying, suggesting astrological solutions and finally, a significant meeting was scheduled.
When the groom arrived, he was not as appealing as expected, and I didn't feel the same connection. The family's insistence on this marriage made me feel like a token to be admired but not truly loved. After some time, the groom himself expressed his confusion, rejecting the marriage proposal.
These experiences made me realize that the best days of my life had always been with my love marriage partner, and despite initial challenges, our long-distance relationship blossomed into a devoted bond within a year.
Ultimately, Partnership Success Depends on Individuals
By the time my parents decided to engage our marriage, I was already in love with someone who was skilled, calm, and intelligent. I had worked with him for years, and our bond was unbreakable. Despite my love marriage partner being my spouse now, the success of any marriage ultimately depends on the couple's ability to work together.
My husband, coming from a different background, brought a different approach and mindset. He was the more understanding and mature partner, while I was more spontaneous and headstrong. Unlike some couples, our relationship is not just about one person taking all the responsibilities but a balanced partnership that thrives on mutual support and understanding.
Together, we built a strong foundation for our marriage, fostered by trust, kindness, and respect. Our relationship and family have grown stronger through the years, and we have a beautiful child who brings us immense joy and love. My parents, initially hesitant, now thank God for us.
However, I've noticed that some couples live happily in arranged marriages, and some in love marriages. Success is not just about the initial decision but the commitment and effort put in by both partners to maintain a strong bond. In India, like in any other culture, the happiness in marriage depends on the unity between two individuals and their willingness to work through challenges as a team.
When faced with doubts and challenges, what truly counts is the love, respect, and trust between partners, not the circumstances that led to their union.