The Reality of Indian Househusbands: Challenges and Societal Perception

Would an Indian female marry a man who is completely house husband material and doesn't know how to earn money? This question has been at the forefront of discussions around gender roles and societal norms in India. In this article, we will explore the reality of Indian househusbands, the challenges they face, and the societal perceptions that shape their lives.

Case Study: Alex and Rita

Let's delve into a real-life scenario to understand the dynamics involved. Last year, a friend's father called me for a job reference for his colleagues' son, Alex. Alex was married to Rita, who was working at a bank while he took a close personal luxury time during his job loss and decided to focus on higher salary jobs like AI or machine learning. Despite his lack of practical skills, his parents, chief among them his mother, insisted that Alex should not engage in housework and he agreed that it was the wife's responsibility. When I couldn't find a suitable job for him due to pre-Covid conditions, they eventually separated. Rita felt that she could manage her two kids alone but was hesitant about adding a third one from her mother-in-law's side.

Challenges Faced by Indian Househusbands

When it comes to the idea of a house husband in India, the challenges are manifold. Will he prepare breakfast, do the cleaning, cook, and take care of the kids? Many househusbands never fully embrace these roles, as evident in the example of Alex. In today's world, where job uncertainty is common, there have been notable cases of men staying at home while their wives work. Yet, even these men do not perform the majority of household tasks. They tend to pretend to be busy with various activities, such as working on hobbies or studying.

Societal Perception of Househusbands in India

While there is a growing awareness of gender equality in India, the traditional mindset about men as breadwinners remains deeply ingrained. This can make it difficult for a man to be a house husband, as he is often seen as worthless if he does not earn. The question arises: how many women are willing to marry a man who does not work, and how many men are willing to remain as househusbands? The answer is not many.

Historically, there have been instances where couples were happy with the arrangement where the husband did not earn and the wife did. However, these cases are rare and are often perceived as strange by others. Even those who advocate for gender equality can be unforgiving of men who choose to stay at home. The same dualistic thinking prevails: either the man is not a worthy breadwinner, or he is seen as incapable of taking care of the house, all because he is a man.

Future Prospects

Is there a future for househusbands in India? The reality is that societal acceptance will not come overnight. The ingrained belief that men must work and women must take care of the home is deeply rooted. It will take several decades for this perception to change, not just in India, but globally. The only hope is that such a shift will happen sooner rather than later, as both men and women have the freedom to choose their roles within the family. Men face particular challenges here, as societal expectations have been that men should earn and provide for the family, in contrast to women who traditionally handled domestic duties.

As we move towards a more equitable future, it is crucial to have conversations and challenge these deeply entrenched beliefs. Only then can we create a society where the choice to be a househusband is a matter of personal preference, rather than a source of shame or societal scandal.

Conclusion

The reality of Indian househusbands is a complex web of challenges and societal attitudes. While there are occasional cases where men and women are happy with traditional and non-traditional roles, the broader perception remains that men should earn and women should take care of the home. This mindset will take time to change, but as the world progresses towards greater gender equality, the acceptance of househusbands may increase. It is a journey that we must all embrace if we are to create a truly equitable society.