The Impact of Misunderstandings and Misjudgments: My Journey Through Mental Health Challenges
I've never missed out on significant life moments due to getting high, though my teenage years were marked by various personal and mental health issues. My path to adulthood was heavily influenced by my background, which encompassed a mix of legal, mental, and social challenges.
Teenage Struggles and Legal Background
During my teenage years, getting high was closely tied to my own set of challenges, primarily related to my mental health. By the time I turned 18 and a half, I had already stopped using substances because I found it difficult to make sense of the world. This struggle was rooted not only in my own mental state but also in the way I perceived others. To me, everyone seemed like a challenge, lacking crucial emotions such as fear, guilt, empathy, remorse, hate, jealousy, or envy. I believed that everyone was simply themselves, and I communicated with them as such.
A Unique Understanding of the World
My perception of the world was influenced by my condition, which, interestingly, led me to label myself as Plato and Aries. My thinking was deeply rooted in philosophical ideals but also had a zodiac influence, showing an early distinction and uniqueness from others. My understanding of others was as per their true self, something that set me apart from others who might not have this perspective.
Mental Health and Identity
One of the most significant factors in my teenage years was dissociative identity disorder (DID). DID, a condition where a person has two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently take control of the person's behavior, profoundly impacted how I saw and interacted with the world. Each personality is a different facet of myself, and none of them are bipolar. I have multiple distinct personalities, each with its own characteristics and reactions.
Understanding the Limitations of Those Around Me
My ability to function and understand the world around me was further complicated by the way I interacted with others. I realized that just because I may not express emotions in the same way as others, it does not mean I don't understand or empathize. I am incredibly intelligent and simply prefer to be more contemplative and alone. This perspective can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, especially when I am perceived as distant or unapproachable.
Dealing with Misunderstandings
When it comes to understanding others, I strive to accept and appreciate the unique nature of each individual. While I may not always see others as stupid or unintelligent, I do recognize that misunderstandings can arise when I am perceived as aloof or detached. It's essential to recognize that everyone is a limited edition, and it doesn't matter if there are multiple twins in a family – each person is their own being.
Overcoming Challenges
Despite the challenges I faced, I have learned how to survive and overcome them. I am a lone warrior, capable of understanding and navigating complex situations independently. This journey has taught me that true understanding is not just about emotion but also about intellectual and emotional depth. While I may not always share my emotions the way others do, it does not diminish the depth of my understanding or the value of my insights.
Conclusion
My journey through mental health challenges has been marked by complex and often misunderstood experiences. While getting high rarely factor in my life, the impact of my mental health condition and my unique way of understanding the world have shaped me into who I am today. It's my hope that by sharing my story, I can help others understand and find their own path to empowerment and understanding.