The Impact of Big Families on Our Life Choices: A Personal Journey
The decision to have children is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors, including the size of one's family. Many of us come from large families, and this experience often shapes our own decisions regarding our children's numbers. In this article, we explore the journey of several individuals, each with unique family backgrounds, and how these backgrounds influenced their choices in parenting and raising children.
From Giant Families to Smaller Choices
I come from a family of 16, one of the three siblings, and my mother is one of 16 as well. My partner also comes from a large family: I have two children and he has two, he is one of four siblings, and his father is one of 17. Together, we learned the issues that come with giant families and decided not to repeat the mistakes of our grandparents.
Being one of eight children, I have a deep love for children. I have worked in various capacities, including teaching preschool, providing art lessons, and homeschooling my younger children. Children are the future, and their needs and desires deserve our utmost attention and love. I have a grandson whom I also take care of, showing that the impact of our choices on future generations is significant.
Journey and Lessons from Multiple Siblings
I was the 4th child of 6, with two older brothers and sisters and a younger brother and sister. My husband and I always wanted children, yet we didn't put a strict limit on it. We ended up having 8 children, although we faced some challenges, including two miscarriages. Even if I had known back then, I wouldn't change a single thing because the joy of those 8 children is immeasurable.
I'll never forget my position as the youngest of 11 children, with three sons who were all grown and well-educated. This upbringing taught me the value of a large family and the responsibilities it comes with. It also shaped my views on parenting, showing me that each child is precious and needs love and attention.
Priorities and Constraints
Having three brothers, I wanted a boy and a girl, and luckily, I achieved this goal. My sisters each had four children, while my brother had two. We both come from families of eight, where the need for children to assist with farming was common. My father, being the oldest of eight, left school in 8th grade to help feed the family. This example likely contributed to my own cautious approach to having more children.
My sisters each had four children, and my brother had two, reflecting the different outcomes within our family. My own two children and my husband's two children come from a conscious decision to learn from the lessons of past generations and avoid the pitfalls of overly large families.
Reflections and Volunteer Work
With six siblings and a total of 20 children among them, combined with my own experiences as a pediatric nurse and volunteering in various capacities, I have seen the impact of large families firsthand. My ectopic pregnancy and two miscarriages also taught me the importance of careful decision-making when it comes to starting a family. At the age of 53, I left the legal world to become a pediatric LPN, having worked closely with infants and children since then.
Currently, I am long retired but still deeply involved in the lives of infants and children through volunteering at my church's preschool. This journey has taught me that every family's decision to have children is unique, shaped by individual experiences, cultural backgrounds, and personal values.
As I approach the age of 93, I reflect on a life spent in the company of children, from my own eight to the many I have had the privilege to work with in various capacities. The love, joy, and challenges of parenting are indescribable, and I believe each child is a gift, bringing unique joy and meaning to our lives.