The Fallout of a Long-Distance Love: A Tacit Love Triangle

Have you ever encountered a love story that unfolded like a twisted tale of lost opportunities and missed potentials? Let me share a personal account of such a journey, one filled with complicit errors, misunderstandings, and the surprising outcomes that time brings.

A Timeline of Tragic Love

September 11, 2011, marked the beginning. It was the day I met J. We got together a year later, and it was a journey that spanned five years of long-distance romance. Our relationship was marked by both joy and struggle, but the dream of a future together in New York City kept us going.

In 2013, I started a job in California, while J pursued his graduate studies in New York City. The distance proved to be a heavy burden, with little time spent together. I promised J that his graduation in December 2016 would be the catalyst for our reunion in New York City.

The Anniversary and the Breakthrough

It was the first anniversary of our meeting on September 11. We had planned a special celebration over FaceTime. I wished him a happy anniversary, but J was dreading the long-distance challenge. I reminded him how J had entered my life on that day, September 11, 2011. Our conversation turned to the future, where things would be easier with me being closer to him.

The Descent into Skepticism

Days turned into weeks, and the long-distance situation degraded further. On a Sunday, J met someone at a bar. Two days later, he confessed that he thought he was in love with that person and wanted a break in our relationship. Despite my plea for a chance to work things out, J decided to sever ties.

I flew to New York, only to find an unsettling resemblance to a bodysnatcher. The very person I thought was my partner now looked, smelled, and acted differently, all while secretly texting with the guy. The discovery came as a shock when J sent a gift on our shared Amazon account, which made me aware of the deception.

The Truth Unveiled

Months later, the truth came to light. J admitted that he had started looking for someone else, even before the break. He found what he perceived as missing in our relationship—someone to explore with, to do things off the beaten path. His words, “Cognitive dissonance is a remarkable thing,” echoed the complex mix of emotions and thoughts he was experiencing.

The Final Goodbye

Our relationship formally ended two months later. J and his new partner made the ill-fated decision to move closer, creating a new long-distance relationship. While J moved to Canada, I returned to NYC, thus swapping a 3,000-mile distance for a closer, but divided, relationship.

Reflections and Lessons

So, why did he do it? J’s response could be summed up in one sentence: “Call me fed up, call me weak, but I deserve it. But you know my biggest fear, my biggest terror is being alone. I do really love you truly truly, I do, and I know I was happy with you— but when I met XYZ I found someone who had something that I had been willingly missing out on, someone to do things with, explore, go off the beaten path. I know karma is going to bite me on the ass for this— but I fell in love.”

This story serves as a sombre reminder of the complexities of long-distance relationships and the betrayal that can come with them. It is a poignant reflection on love, commitment, and the sacrifices we make in pursuit of happiness.