The Evolution of Love Post-Marriage
After tying the knot, the journey of love doesn't come to an end but evolves into a more profound and enduring form. When two souls come together in marriage, the dynamics of their relationship shift dramatically. It's no longer just about the initial attraction or the exciting highs of dating, but about navigating a life together marked by responsibilities, commitments, and shared experiences.
The Initial Spark
Before marriage, the relationship is often fueled by intense attraction, lust, and the rush of endorphins. These feelings are characterized by a heightened state of sensory pleasure and a near-constant desire to be with one's partner. This can be seen in popular sayings like Proverbs 19:14, which highlights the importance of a good spouse and the blessings that come with it.
The Transition to Enduring Love
However, true enduring love emerges from the experience of living together and sharing life's many challenges. The Proverbs 18:22 advises us that a good name is better than precious ointment, indicating the stability and value that comes from enduring love. Genesis 2:18 emphasizes the need for companionship, suggesting that enduring love is essential for fulfilling human existence.
Over time, the initial spark of attraction is tempered by the realities of living together, which can be described as a 'roller coaster of life and love.' This shift is what allows couples to develop a deeper, more enduring form of love known as 'enduring love.'
The Role of Dopamine
The chemical released in the brain when first seeing a person we are attracted to is called dopamine. Dopamine is often referred to as the 'feel good' chemical, as it temporarily shields our perception of flaws and difficulties in the person. This is similar to the chemical response one experiences when using a drug. Over time, the body gets accustomed to this high, leading to a desire for more intense experiences. This is why some marriages can start to wane after a few years, as the initial dopamine rush wears off.
According to Proverbs 12:4, a marriage that brings joy is a blessing. This joy often comes from the enduring love that develops over time, rather than the initial physical attraction that fades as dopamine levels normalize. Just as a house's foundation determines its structure, the initial chemical response determines the trajectory of the relationship.
The Challenge of Maintaining Love
Marriage requires more than just love; it demands tolerance, patience, and mutual understanding. The five-to-seven-year mark is often a challenging time for many couples, as the novelty wears off and the realities of daily living become more apparent. Without the constant dopamine rush, some couples may start seeing faults in each other that had previously gone unnoticed.
Conclusion
While the initial spark of love is exhilarating, enduring love is the foundation of a strong and lasting marriage. It's a journey that requires nurturing, understanding, and patience. By building a relationship from the foundation up and focusing on mutual respect and deep connection, couples can find true, enduring love that will stand the test of time.