How Has Dating Changed from When You Were a Kid?
In the past, dating was a simple yet organic process filled with natural and unplanned interactions. As a teenager in 1981, dating involved attending inter-district dances hosted by local high schools, where there was ample opportunity for shy moments of interaction that could lead to romantic relationships.
1981: The Organic Approach
One of the local high schools hosted inter-district dances in their gym every couple of weeks, allowing for an exchange of dances between students from various high schools. These gatherings provided a platform for meeting and interacting with people from diverse backgrounds. For me, along with my friends, these were regular occurrences. Typical of those days, girls would dance, while most guys stood around. However, between dances, at the water fountain, in the foyer, or the parking lot, there were numerous low-stakes opportunities to show interest and start a conversation.
These conversations would often grow naturally. If both parties showed mutual interest, they would ensure they attended the next dance together. During these subsequent gatherings, they would spend more time talking. Perhaps one of them would buy the other a Coke, or they would agree to see one another at an upcoming event like a school football game or performance. They might even go out for a meal afterward. Over time, as they developed more confidence, they would spend more time talking and perhaps share a slow dance or a fast one, if he was brave enough. Eventually, one might ask for a phone number or ask the other out on a date.
I met my first love this way. There were plenty of other organic ways for young people to meet, such as attending ball games, concerts, church events, library gatherings, summer jobs, coffee shops, house parties, and more. Even as you got older, opportunities to connect didn’t dwindle. All it took was minimal social skills, a bit of courage, and patience to initiate a conversation at any event—a scenario that happened all the time.
2019: The Digital Revolution
Fast forward to 2019, and the dating landscape has undergone a dramatic transformation. The digital age has introduced dating apps, which have fundamentally changed the way people approach romance. While there are undoubtedly more dating apps now than ever before, the changes extend far beyond the number of platforms available.
These apps have ushered in a hook-up culture that values immediate gratification over long-term commitment. The fear of “catching feelings” has become a common sentiment, leading to casual and fleeting relationships devoid of genuine emotional investment. Sexting and the fear of revenge porn have added layers of anxiety to the process. Conversations that once might have started with an in-person encounter now often begin or continue through endless messaging, with many people never meeting in person.
Ironically, despite having more opportunities to meet and date, people are more cynical and feel more alienated than ever. The idea of love as a guiding force in relationships seems to be dwindling, replaced with a focus on financial gain and material possessions. This shift has raised questions about whether technology has brought people closer together or has instead created a divide between genuine connection and superficial interactions.
Conclusion
The evolution of dating from the 1980s to the present day reflects a broader shift in societal values, communication methods, and the way people perceive relationships. While the digital age has opened up new possibilities for connection, it has also introduced new challenges and complexities. Understanding these changes can help us navigate the current landscape of dating more thoughtfully and purposefully.