The Crucial Role of Senior Citizens in the Lives of Their Married Sons and Daughters
As parents transition into their senior years, they desire to make a positive impact on their children's lives. This year, take time to ask your children at the beginning of the year how they want their parents to behave, and what moral support they need for their short-term goals. A home environment that is filled with care, respect, and pride in one another can be fostered when parents align their behavior with their children's aspirations.
Factors Influencing the Parental Role
The role of parents or senior citizens significantly depends on whether they have saved to live independently, have a sustainable income like a pension, income from property, or interest on saved deposits. Other times, parents might have availed loans for their children's education, which might still be unpaid, creating a burden. If children repay these loans, a good relationship is maintained. However, if they do not, it could strain their relationship.
While the majority of children opt to stay separately from their parents, it is not uncommon for parents to live with their children. For those who live with their own income or pension, they can share the residence with their children, assisting in daily routines. Conversely, when parents have no income and stay in different places or cities, they need support from their children. Staying at the native place is often more economical for these parents in terms of paying rent and other expenses.
Supporting Each Other
In any setup, whether sharing a residence or staying separately, parents should try to help their children, barring health conditions that prevent them from doing so. Issues can arise if either member of the children's family does not want the parents to stay with them, even if they do not need financial support or are adequately supported with a pension or other income. Parents need to recognize the goals of their children and support them appropriately, as long as their interests do not conflict with their own.
Family practices differ, and there cannot be set rules or imposing regulations. Lectures by Prof Mahadevan at IIMB on Sanatana Dharma throw light on basic issues about what is expected from parents or the responsibilities of children in Indian culture. According to Sanatana Dharma, senior citizens are supposed to live as per their wishes, either by going on religious tours, concentrating on meditation, or not participating in daily routines. This stage of life is referred to as Vanaprastha. The later stage is Sanyasa, depending on individual preferences and opportunities available.
Failing to give senior citizens the respect and importance they deserve can have long-term consequences. Children's lives might be better for the present, but without proper treatment for their parents, the cycle of disrespect might repeat in the future.