Tactful Touch-Ups: Telling Someone About Unsightly Nasal Issues
As the old adage If they can fix it, tell them. If not, don’t. suggests, having good communication skills can go a long way, especially when it comes to addressing minor inconveniences that might affect your day-to-day interactions. Today, we'll explore a common yet often avoidable situation: sharing information about a booger that others can see but you can't. Is it a polite move, or could it be seen as an intrusion?
Dealing with Internal vs. External Issues
Imagine this scenario: You have something on your face, but you can't see it, while those around you can. Would you want someone to point it out, or would it be seen as ill-mannered to bring it up? Many would argue that personal cleanliness and hygiene are essential in social settings. In these cases, it's often better to be informed. For instance, if someone has food stuck between their teeth, they would appreciate hearing about it before it becomes a major issue.
Considering Ann Lander's rule, it's advisable to be direct when someone can fix the issue. Steven, a relatively short 5 feet tall individual, acknowledges that with limited visibility, the chances of others pointing out a booger are slim. However, his obsession with cleanliness ensures that his nose is free from such issues. On the other hand, he frequently notices other people's boogers, suggesting he finds the gesture of pointing them out to be ignored frustrating.
Striking the Right Balance
However, providing feedback about others' physical appearance requires tact and consideration for the other person's feelings. Miss Manners, Judith Martin, another veteran columnist, emphasizes the importance of being vague when addressing such matters. She suggests phrases like “You might want to check everything in the mirror” or “Would you like a tissue? I have plenty” to offer help without making the person feel overly self-conscious.
A practical example from a large lawn party scenario further illustrates this point. A stranger at the event needed to be informed about a large, bright red period stain on her white denim skirt. The narrator, for men's sake, kept the suggestion vague to avoid added awkwardness. However, the intention was clear: the person needed to know so she could address the situation before being noticed by others. While there's no need to see if the individual acted on the advice, the narrator's intention was to help prevent a potential social faux pas.
In conclusion, while sharing information about a booger might seem trivial, it can significantly impact your social interactions and professionalism. Whether it's a booger or another unsightly issue, always consider the situation. If you can help someone fix an issue without causing embarrassment, it's often a kind and considerate move. After all, our social interactions are enhanced when we are supportive and attentive to each other's needs.