The Survival Expert: Ray Mears

Ray Mears is often considered the ultimate survival guru. With his extensive knowledge of outdoor skills and his ability to make the most out of the resources available, he would be a highly desirable companion if you found yourself on a deserted island. Mears, known for his TV shows like 'Survival' and 'Ray Mears’ Bushcraft', has a wealth of practical knowledge. He can construct a canoe from tree bark and fronds, make a sextant, and start a fire using friction, all with a positive attitude. He can navigate using the stars, and his encyclopedia-like knowledge would provide confidence in survival scenarios. While he might not be condescending, his expertise would be invaluable in ensuring your survival until rescue.

The Beach Babe: Honey Ryder

Vision of a tropical paradise? Honey Ryder is the perfect fit. Although her primary strengths lie in her ability to handle a boat, fish, swim, and use a knife, it's her laid-back demeanor and catchy songs about mango trees and coconuts that make her a fun companion. She's the embodiment of relaxation and could keep morale high during the ordeal. Her looks and natural beauty would make the surroundings more enjoyable, and her coastal skills would be useful in maintaining a positive outlook.

The Political Heavyweights: Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

Picking a political figure to be stranded with is a tough call. As a patriotic American and global citizen, I initially lean towards Donald Trump, the most recognizable face in international politics. However, Putin represents a more global threat and perhaps a more pressing issue. Stranding either of them on a deserted island would be a spectacle. Trump might be less threatening as he often appears to be merely posturing, while Putin's actions have a more tangible impact. Ultimately, Putin wins for being a current and ongoing threat to humanity while Trump faces an uncertain future past the next election.

The Invaluable Practical Choice: Your Partner

Money, despite its utility, becomes useless on a deserted island. The real key is expertise in escaping. Your partner, be it a spouse or a close friend, could be your best chance. In my case, I would choose my wife, a trained nurse. She has a wealth of survival skills, having grown up on ranches in the southwest, and has an emergency pack complete with the SAS Survival guide. Her medical expertise would be crucial for treatments if anything went wrong. I, too, have a background in survival and first aid, and I have a license for scuba diving in ocean waters. Our combined expertise in handling emergencies and navigating would be invaluable.

Conclusion

Choosing a companion for a deserted island scenario is a deeply personal decision, influenced by diverse factors such as survival skills, personality, and context. Whether you opt for a survival expert like Ray Mears, a tropical beach beauty like Honey Ryder, or someone with political clout like Putin, the choice should primarily focus on the person's ability to help you get off the island and thrive until rescue. Your partner or spouse, with their combination of medical and survival skills, might just be the most practical and reliable choice of all.