When is it Time to Consider Assisted Living for an Elderly Parent?

When considering assisted living for an elderly parent, it can be a difficult decision. Ensuring that you have spoken to your parent and understand their preferences and desires is the first step. Additionally, you should inquire about the presence of any existing plans and whether they have a preference for independent living or moving in with family. Exploring other options, such as in-home care, and assessing your financial capability are also crucial factors.

Another important consideration is to have a preliminary discussion about assisted living before the signs of declining health become a concern. This conversation can help in understanding your parent's comfort level with the idea, and whether they are ready to face the realities of aging.

Signs to Watch For

As your elderly parent ages, it's important to watch for several signs that may indicate a need for assisted living. These signs include:

Loneliness and Boredom: Pay attention if your parent is showing signs of isolation or feeling unengaged in activities. Cognitive Decline: Look out for memory issues, difficulty in handling daily tasks, or trouble with concentrating and thinking clearly. Conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s may be factors. Physical Capabilities: Ensure your parent can still care for themselves, such as preparing meals, bathing, and managing medications. Pay attention to their balance and whether they can safely use a vehicle. Financial Management: Monitor if they can manage their finances without getting easily confused or making errors.

Assessing Your Parent's Situation

Each family's situation is unique. For example, my father-in-law moved into assisted living at 74 due to dementia, while my parents, aged 85 and 82, continue to live independently and drive. My mom has some cognitive impairment but still handles cooking, and my dad manages his health issues while mowing the lawn. They continue to thrive together with occasional support from a cleaning lady and family visits to doctor appointments.

My grandmother, who was 96, moved to an assisted living facility, where individuals span a wide range of ages. Thus, it is essential to consider the individual needs and circumstances of your loved one.

Financial Considerations

The cost of assisted living can be substantial. If your loved one has assets, but not enough liquid cash to cover the monthly expenses, their remaining assets may be used to pay for assisted living. In such situations, Medicaid can cover the costs once all assets are depleted.

Remember, the decision to consider assisted living for an elderly parent should be based on their physical and mental well-being, as well as your own comfort and financial capability. By carefully assessing the signs and making informed decisions, you can ensure your elderly parent receives the best care and support.