Should You Tell Someone They Are in Your Will?

Introduction

Deciding whether to tell someone they are in your will involves evaluating various factors, such as your relationship with the person, the nature of their inheritance, and your personal preferences. This article explores the pros and cons of sharing such information, providing insights that can help you make an informed decision.

Pros of Telling Someone They Are in Your Will

Clarity and Transparency

Telling someone they are in your will can bring clarity and prevent misunderstandings. This transparency ensures that the person knows your wishes and expectations, reducing the potential for future conflicts. For instance, it can help maintain a close relationship with the person, ensuring ongoing support and affection.

Encouragement and Planning

Sharing this information can also encourage the person to stay in touch and plan for the future. Inheritance can be a significant motivator for maintaining a relationship, and knowing they are included can foster a stronger emotional bond. Additionally, it allows the individual to consider how they might use the inheritance in a way that aligns with their personal goals and plans.

Cons of Telling Someone They Are in Your Will

Pressure and Entitlement

On the downside, informing someone they are in your will can create pressure. They might feel obligated to act a certain way or maintain a closer relationship than they might otherwise. This can lead to a sense of entitlement, where they may believe they are owed something, even if circumstances change. For example, if your relationship or the nature of the bequest changes, the person could become disappointed.

Family Dynamics and Tension

Revealing this information to one person might also create tension with others, especially family members or other beneficiaries. This can lead to jealousy, misunderstandings, and even conflict within the family. It’s important to weigh these potential negative consequences when making your decision.

Personal Experience

I recently decided to inform my eldest stepdaughter, ensuring that she was in no doubt about my wishes in the event of my death. The will is held at my lawyer's office, providing a secure and clear record of my intentions. By sharing this information, I aimed to manage her expectations and ensure a positive relationship.

On the other hand, I don’t believe it’s generally a good idea to let someone know they are in your will. There are numerous risks that come with sharing this information. For instance, the person might use this knowledge against you, or take advantage of the situation in a way that harms your interests.

The content and details of your will can change over time, and sharing it might cause unnecessary complications. At the age of 40, what you include in your will may look very different by the age of 60. Furthermore, as you grow older, you might find yourself frequently changing your will due to the natural loss of older beneficiaries. It's important to consider these factors when making your decision.

Currently, I have two beneficiaries in my will, but I don’t inform them about it. I’ve been considering dropping both of them for valid reasons, and although I believe I might outlive them, it remains a decision to be reconsidered. However, I have been thinking about naming just one other beneficiary instead. When people know they are in your will, they might start treating you differently, which can be detrimental to your relationship and your overall financial well-being.

Ultimately, the decision to tell someone they are in your will is a personal one. If you believe that sharing this information will foster a positive relationship or provide some benefit, it might be worth the risks. However, if you anticipate potential negative consequences or prefer to keep your estate plans private, it is advisable to keep that information confidential. The key is to weigh the pros and cons carefully before making your choice.