Retirement Near Your Adult Children: Evaluating the Benefits and Challenges
The decision to move into a retirement community near your adult children can be a complex one, influenced by a variety of factors. This article explores the benefits and potential challenges of choosing such a lifestyle, drawing on personal experiences and expert opinions to help guide potential retirees and their families.
Factors Influencing the Decision
Moving to a retirement community near your adult children can enhance both social and emotional support as you transition into your golden years. However, this decision is not without its considerations.
Stability and Relationship Dynamics
First, the stability and mutual support of the relationship with your adult children play a significant role. If your children are committed to remaining in the community and the relationships are harmonious, it can offer a valuable support network. This can include assistance with daily activities, social interaction, and emotional support, which are crucial for maintaining a high quality of life.
Economic and Health Factors
Economic considerations also influence the decision. If the community is affordable and meets your expectations, it can be a wise choice. However, if the area is expensive and you find it unpleasant, or if the community does not align with your lifestyle or preferences, it may not be the best option. Health conditions are also a critical factor as they can change over time, affecting where you might need to live and the level of care you can manage.
Independence and Mobility
Living independently and maintaining mobility is essential for many retirees. If you can remain in the community without needing substantial care, it can be a positive choice. However, if you need to live with your adult children for practical reasons, such as affordability or proximity to supportive care, this can also be a viable option. Personal circumstances, such as the health and financial status of the adult children, should be carefully evaluated.
Personal Experiences and Insights
The following personal experiences provide real-world perspectives on the challenges and benefits of living in a retirement community near adult children.
Example of Harmonious Coexistence
Take the case of a couple in their early 30s who are planning to retire in Mexico within the next 4-5 years. Currently, they have two children under 18 and plan to finish raising them before making the move. They do not intend to live in a retirement community for at least the next few decades, as they are only 37 and 50 years old. Their goal is to enjoy their retirement in a place they love, specifically Mexico, where they plan to buy a ranch.
Overcoming Reluctance for Family Support
A poignant example involves an elderly uncle who initially refused to move to an assisted living home. Despite offers of support from his family, he chose to remain in a cramped trailer park. Like many elders, he eventually changed his mind and agreed to relocate closer to his family. What he experienced in the assisted living home was far better than his previous living conditions. Once inside, he was happy and relieved that his needs were met by familiar faces.
“On one visit when my wife could not join me, he surprised me when he brought up the subject of moving to be closer to us and out of this pig sty of a home. I asked him when he would like to make the move, and he said: ‘let’s go now.’ And so we did. We packed a couple of suitcases, gathered up his meds, and everything of value, and I lifted him into my truck and drove him to his new home, a very nice assisted living home.”
Impact of Health Decline and Family Support
As the uncle's health declined, it became clear that he favored dying in a familiar environment. Ensuring he was comfortable and surrounded by family was his top priority. This example illustrates how proximity to family can significantly impact the quality of life and end-of-life care.
“As I was shaving him on one visit, he told me that he wanted to die in our home, not among strangers. We brought him home and set him up in a spare bedroom, got him a TV, and despite his condition, he smiled every time we came to his room. One morning as coffee was brewing, I looked over at him and he had taken his last breath. So yes, it’s good to have family around.”
Conclusion
Whether you choose to move into a retirement community near your adult children depends on a range of factors. Personal relationships, economic considerations, health, and independence are all important. While it can offer numerous benefits, it is essential to carefully consider these factors and ensure that the decision aligns with the well-being of both the retiree and the adult children involved.