Reflections on Wanting a Horse: Overcoming Bitterness and Jealousy

I remember as a child, just like the author, always wanting a horse. The protagonist of this story, a horse lover, shares her journey and the valuable lessons she learned along the way. From saving money to purchasing a horse, and facing the challenges of horse ownership, she reflects on her experiences and offers advice for those who feel bitter and jealous over what they don’t have.

The Long Road to Ownership

I had always wanted a horse just like you. I worked many summers on a farm, learning what was involved in horse ownership and putting my savings aside. When I was asked how I intended to spend my birthday or Christmas money, my answer was always the same: a horse. This sentiment resonates deeply with those who, like myself, dreamed of having a horse for as long as they could remember. And yes, when I turned 17, I finally realized my dream and bought my first horse with the savings I had diligently earned and saved over the years. I boarded her proudly, knowing that this was the first step towards fulfilling my lifelong dream.

Navigating the Challenges of Horse Ownership

Several years later, I experienced something unexpected. My horse was pregnant and she rejected the foal. This required me to bottle-feed the little one every two hours around the clock, a task that initially seemed overwhelming but with time and determination, I managed to care for him with dedication. Ownership of a horse is not just about the initial purchase; it involves constant attention, care, and the ability to handle unforeseen challenges.

The Journey of Hard Work and Dedication

At a certain point, I saved enough money to make a down payment on a small property and put in a barn. Working four jobs to pay my bills, I built a fence and constructed a barn from scratch, one piece at a time. Each year, I added more to the barn, expanding it to provide a warmer shelter for the winter. I heated my house with wood I cut myself, putting the money I saved towards my mortgage. This hard work not only provided me with a stable environment for my horses but also instilled a strong work ethic that has served me well in my career and community.

Lessons in Acceptance and Resilience

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that my biggest challenge has been the need to accept that not everything can be within my control. As our song lyric states, ‘You can’t always get what you want’ (The Rolling Stones). It’s an acknowledged fact of life that not all our desires are fulfilled, and a certain level of self-acceptance is necessary.

Being bitter and jealous over what others have can be counterproductive. My daughter once said, “It’s not fair!” and I responded, ‘Well honey, life isn’t fair, and the sooner you come to grips with this, the happier you’ll be.’ It’s important to accept the reality that we won’t always be able to own a horse or achieve everything we desire in the short term. However, what we have can sometimes be taken for granted, and we may have things that others envy us for.

For instance, the Syrian refugee children who wear the clothes I knit every day, live in a warm and dry house, eat three meals and snacks, and go to school, may still express a desire for the stability and comfort we take for granted. It’s crucial to focus on the positive and the things we can change in our own lives, rather than dwelling on what we don’t have.

One day, those horse owners might face challenges of their own and be left destitute, or end their days in a hospital bed with a terminal illness. On the other hand, your hard work and dedication can lead to significant achievements, like the invention of a successful product, which can change your life for the better. Embrace the idea that fate has its purpose, and what you have today might be something that others would envy tomorrow.

Conclusion

So, let it go. Accept that owning a horse isn’t for everyone, at least not in the short term. Be kinder to yourself, and focus on the positive aspects of your life. With every challenge overcome, comes a new opportunity to grow and thrive. And remember, your journey is unique and valuable, so hold your head high, and continue to pursue your dreams with resilience and determination.