Why Am I Still Obsessed with My Ex-Girlfriend 15 Months Later?

The feelings will eventually go away, but it's not the same for everyone. Your ex broke up with you, and it's over. However, if you find yourself still scrutinizing every detail of your past, you're not alone. Understanding the reasons behind this and how to move on is crucial.

Understanding Persistent Feelings

Months and even years after the relationship has ended, it's common to still think about your ex. For instance, if your 9-month relationship ended badly, and it has been a year and four months since the breakup, you might still be contemplating where things could have gone wrong. A relationship ended badly can linger in your mind, especially if you wonder what could have been.

The Process of Healing

If your ex was named Mary, then consider her as someone you dated—not your ex. The use of possessive language can make the feelings stronger. Each time you think about her, say in your mind, “Mary is just someone I used to date.” This slight mental shift can help you move past the attachment she once elicited.

When discussing Mary with others, use her name simply as a reference: “Oh, you must mean Mary. We are no longer together.” Then change the subject. If Mary still runs through your mind, consciously redirect your thoughts to other more positive activities or aspects of your life.

Identifying Underlying Issues

Your feelings might stem from deeper issues. You might:

Have low self-esteem and believe that the only way to be fully alive is through this person.

Not have healed emotionally and have not realized that you were not truly right for each other.

Not have other challenges, motivations, or exciting aspects in your life that make you feel fulfilled.

View her as your only source of happiness, life, or success.

Feel that you don’t deserve love and that she was the only one who truly cared about you.

Understanding these underlying issues can help address the root cause of your nostalgia and longing.

Tips for Moving On

To minimize these feelings and work towards a healthier mindset, consider the following:

Focus on self-improvement. Spend time learning about yourself and understanding your own worth.

Engage in activities that challenge and motivate you. Find sources of excitement and fulfillment in life outside of your past relationship.

Avoid monitoring or staking her. Block her number and don’t talk about her negatively. This practice can help you maintain a healthier perspective and emotional state.

By working on yourself and understanding your own value, you can reduce your obsession with people or things, allowing you to move forward with confidence and positivity.

Conclusion

Beyond understanding the reasons behind persistent feelings, it's essential to take proactive steps to heal and move forward. By focusing on personal growth and engaging in meaningful activities, you can diminish the hold your ex still has on your thoughts and emotions.