Reflections on Parental Love and Self-Acceptance

It is understandable to feel a mix of emotions when reflecting on the opinions of our parents, especially those that might have been negative or abusive. For many, the journey of self-discovery often focuses more on their own perception and personal growth rather than the opinions of their parents.

Unconditional Love and Expectations

When parents unconditionally love us, it is essential to remember that even in their love, there are expectations. Whether these expectations are attainable or not, they often shape our understanding of ourselves and our abilities. While my own parents expressed pride in me, there was also a yearning for me to achieve more. This gap between what they felt and what they told me is a common experience, as many parents feel a deep desire for their children's success.

For those whose parents are unable to offer unconditional love or are themselves challenging and abusive, the focus shifts to self-discovery and self-acceptance. In such cases, it is crucial to prioritize one's own growth and well-being over seeking external validation.

Personal Experience and Self-Motivation

I cannot provide a definitive answer about what my own parents think of me, as they no longer share these sentiments. My childhood experiences of being labeled as mentally handicapped by my father and later proving him wrong through academic achievements highlight the importance of self-motivation and perseverance. My personal growth and self-acceptance have been significantly influenced by these experiences, rather than by any opinions of my parents.

My mother's acceptance and understanding, even as she did not necessarily agree with all my life choices, have helped me develop a stronger sense of self. My Nan, on the contrary, provided the love and support that could not be found from my birth mother, who was absent from my life.

Ultimately, the journey of understanding and loving oneself is a deep and complex one, often intertwined with the opinions and expectations of our parents. It is a path that enables us to become the best versions of ourselves, regardless of what others may think.