Reflections and Aspirations: What Would My 12-Year-Old Self Think of Who I Am Today?
Writing down what my 12-year-old self would think of who I am today is both a nostalgic journey and a reality check. While some dreams and aspirations have been fulfilled, others have remained unmet, and the journey is far from over. Let's dive into my personal journey to see if I've come close to achieving what I dreamt of back then.
Key Aspirations from My Youth
As a child, there were a few wishes that I cherished and dreamed of achieving. Some dreams became a reality, while others remained mere fantasies. Let's explore my aspirations and the reality of my journey so far.
1. Becoming a Topper
One of the first wishes of my life was to become a topper (the student with the highest grades) in my class. While I put in countless hours of hard work and dedication, striving to be at the top, I never managed to achieve this dream. Usually, I ranked second, with the highest score in a couple of subjects, but still falling short of becoming the absolute topper without fail.
However, I found solace in the lessons learned from the experience. Each attempt to top my class taught me valuable lessons about resilience, time management, and the importance of consistency. Now, I'm more than fine with accepting that life has different pathways and while I may not have topped every term, the quality of my education and the knowledge I have gained along the way make me proud.
2. A Career in Creativity
Another aspiration was an independent and fulfilling career requiring creativity. After numerous discussions with my parents, they eventually agreed to enroll me in a design college. The journey towards this goal was full of ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I have no regrets. The skills I acquired in design paved the way for a promising career, one that continues to inspire and challenge me.
3. Making Parents Proud
There was always the goal of making my parents proud. On one hand, I have surpassed this goal by achieving certain milestones and personal successes. On the other hand, I have also let them down, which was a difficult realization. I want to express my apologies and convey that I value their support and love more than anything. Mummy and Papa, if you are reading this, please know that I am truly sorry for all the moments that I caused you pain.
4. Becoming a Model
Another early dream was to become a model. However, as I mentioned earlier, I have neither the height nor the facial features required for this profession. Let's leave this one behind and move on to more achievable goals.
5. Being a Social Butterfly
Around socializing, I am an introvert by nature and have always struggled to make a large friend circle or maintain a vibrant social life. Yet, I have made peace with being a lone wolf. While I appreciated the company of close friends, I understand that true success lies in quality over quantity.
6. Being the Centre of Attention
Amidst these mixed feelings, I've often found myself as the centre of attention, whether it was in the good or not-so-good ways. It's important to acknowledge that being the centre of attention can be both exhilarating and daunting. While I embraced the moments of attention, there were certainly times when I wished to be on the periphery, away from the eyes of cheeky and intrusive people.
7. Being Beautiful
The notion of beauty can be highly subjective. My childhood fantasies of being strikingly beautiful were just that – fantasies. Time has taught me that my own unique qualities and inner strength are far more valuable than any external standards of beauty.
8. Traveling Around the World
Travel is a cherished concept, but it requires maturity and financial stability. Given the circumstances, I am holding this dream for the future. The world is vast, and there's always a chance to explore its wonders when the time is right.
9. Kindness, Selflessness, and Helping Others
Being kind, selfless, and helping others is a value that I deeply hold true. However, it remains a challenging dream. In today's world, kindness is often unsettling due to the actions of selfish and manipulative people. Despite this, I focus on spreading positivity wherever I can and doing what I believe is right, even if it means facing challenges and adversity.
10. Being More Feminine
Faced with bullying in school due to my appearance, I have since come to terms with it. Growing up to look more feminine has been a hard journey, but being true to myself has been more important.
11. Physical Health and Fitness
Attaining a state of physical health and fitness is another dream that I have held onto. Right now, I am in the middle range, but I have plans to get back into the gym soon. Being healthy is a continuous effort and journey.
Conclusion
In summary, my 12-year-old self would still be proud of me despite the unmet dreams. I understand that each step of the journey has brought me closer to my aspirations. While I may not have achieved every dream I had, the lessons learned along the way have provided me with a strong foundation for the future. What matters most is that I am living a life that is authentic and fulfilling, which is something I hope to continue to do as I grow older.
Let's continue this journey and keep striving towards our goals, even if they are small and seemingly unattainable. After all, every step counts, and every dream matters.