Recognizing When Your Partner with BPD Is Having an Episode

Better question. How can you tell she's NOT having an episode? In all seriousness, it's actually quite obvious. If you're having to look for subtle signs, you're probably not dealing with a Borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Personality disorders, including BPD, are prominently and visibly present. They are like a reality TV show taking place in your life. However, if you're on high alert, trying to spot signs, it might indicate that you're overthinking things. People with BPD experience dramatic, emotional, and unpredictable behavior. These manifestations are clear and intense.

Recognizing the Signs of an Episode

Your girlfriend has BPD, and you want to know when she's experiencing an episode. Well, if she has BPD, she likely has some degree of awareness. So, why don't you ask her? A straightforward approach can provide clarity and guidance. Alternatively, if she's not in therapy, there are some common signs to watch out for.

One of the first signs to look for is criticism. Sudden and harsh criticism towards you can indicate the onset of an episode. Additionally, she might start making not-so-funny jokes at your expense or accusing you of things, demonizing you, and taking everything you say and do personally. She might also feel continuously attacked by minor statements.

Understanding Moods and Emotions

Your partner's moods are volatile and labile, meaning they fluctuate wildly. Her deepest emotions are dysregulated, making it feel like she's constantly drowning in them. Everything tends to happen swiftly and ferociously, but it can also persist for longer periods, especially if she feels misunderstood or invalidated.

Supporting her mental health is crucial. If she feels unsupported or criticized, her symptoms can worsen. However, it's important to note that you are not responsible for regulating her emotions. You can, however, help her by remaining calm and grounded. Some strategies to consider include practicing mindfulness, meditation, and yogic breathing techniques. These can help you stay calm and focused, which is beneficial during such episodes.

Managing Projective Identification

Managing projective identification is a critical step in handling BPD episodes. Projective identification occurs when your partner projects their emotions onto you, making you feel responsible for their feelings. This can be overwhelming, and it's important to learn about it and develop strategies to manage it.

Avoid allowing your partner to experience prolonged or sudden abandonment anxiety, as this can disarm her defenses and lead to more severe episodes. When she decompensates, her defenses become disarmed, and the situation can become extremely challenging to handle. Remember, BPD is not your fault, and with proper management, you can navigate these situations more effectively.

Conclusion

Dealing with a partner who has BPD can be difficult, but with understanding and strategies, it can be managed. The key is to remain calm, grounded, and supportive. Remember, if you're on high alert, trying to spot subtle signs, you might be overthinking things. A more straightforward approach, such as asking your partner, can provide more clarity.