Overcoming the Feeling of Being Behind: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Confidence
There comes a moment in life when we feel like we haven't accomplished enough, especially when we compare ourselves to others. This feeling can be particularly intense when we're young but continue to haunt us as we age. In this journey, we explore a personal story and offer insights into overcoming the feeling of being behind and regaining confidence.
Early Struggles and Self-Doubt
Remember back to the time when you were in 9th grade, barely 14 years old? Your family might have mentioned something like, 'She is too shy, while girls younger than her are so confident.' At that tender age, we often hear expectations and judgments that can shape our self-perception. For me, such a comment propelled a cycle of self-doubt that lasted well into adulthood.
I convinced myself that at 14, I was too old to even consider trying to come out of my shell. This mindset became a vicious cycle that led me to become underconfident and develop a low self-esteem. As a result, my teenage years were filled with disasters, both socially and emotionally. My self-esteem declined to such an extent that it affected my health. I started to follow poor eating habits and became more anxious and sensitive when people judged my body. The look in their eyes conveyed sympathy and further emphasized my own negative self-perception.
Reclaiming Self-Awareness and Confidence
At 24, a turning point in my life came when I realized just how tender I felt about myself. The harsh and ignorant comments from others made me question my worth. It wasn't until I learned about personality types and discovered that I was an introvert that I gained a new perspective. My behavior during adolescence was entirely justifiable, and I didn’t need to make any 'fixes.'
I stopped listening to the naysayers and continued doing what I loved. After a study gap following my bachelor's degree, I silently applied for master’s programs abroad. Surprisingly, my persistence paid off, and I received an acceptance. Today, I'm studying for my master's in Finland. For most people, this age might seem too late for pursuing further education, but I chose to follow my dreams.
Many in my culture perceive reaching certain milestones, like marriage, as a sign of success. Others may feel they are behind because they haven't achieved these 'norms.' But life is not a race. Each individual has their own unique journey, and there's no set timeline that defines success. Interestingly, those who once criticized me now seek my guidance, illustrating how life can come full circle.
Gratitude and Self-Improvement
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison and feel like you haven’t done enough. However, it’s essential to recognize that you are in control of your life and your path. You are not falling behind; you are exactly where you should be. The only thing that can hold you back is a lack of effort to strive for the better version of yourself. Everything else is just noise, so filter out the distractions and focus on self-improvement.
Embrace your introversion, work on yourself silently, and let your success speak for you. Remember, life is a unique journey for each individual, and setting unrealistic goals based on others' achievements is a form of blindness. Be grateful for the life you have and strive to be the best version of yourself. Cheers to personal growth and self-discovery!