Overcoming the Desire for Early Death: Finding Control and Purpose

Is it Normal to Want to Die Before 18?

It is important to understand that feeling the urge to end your life before you turn 18, especially if you are currently 14, is not a common or ordinary experience, but it is a serious concern that requires attention and support. Many people, at any age, may experience such thoughts due to feelings of helplessness and a desire for control. This deep-seated fear can stem from a variety of factors, including anxiety, depression, and a feeling of not being in control of one's life.

While it may seem like the ultimate form of control to some individuals, such as suicide, it is crucial to recognize that suicide is not the solution. Instead, it is important to understand that you have the power to react to uncontrollable situations in a way that allows you to maintain control over your own life and emotions.

Understanding the Concept of Control

People often feel scared of life and overwhelmed by the prospect of their future because they cannot control everything. This can be especially challenging during adolescence when young people grow rapidly and their sense of self is still forming. Weather, disease, aging, and natural disasters are all events that we cannot control, but it is within our power to react to them in a positive manner.

Viktor Frankl, in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” emphasizes the idea that even in the darkest of situations, individuals retain the power to control their reactions and choose how they will live. He experienced firsthand the despair and loss of control in a concentration camp but eventually found the strength to focus on the reasons to live and find purpose in his experiences. This is a powerful lesson that can be applied to any situation—whether it is the storms of life or personal struggles.

Steps to Overcome These Feelings

It is common to experience fears and doubts during adolescence and even beyond. However, it is vital to take action to address these feelings and regain a sense of control over your life. Here are some steps you can take:

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Identify the Root Causes: It is important to understand why you are experiencing these thoughts. Sometimes, these feelings may be tied to specific experiences, events, or personal challenges you are facing. By identifying the root causes, you can begin to address the underlying issues more effectively.

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Talk to Someone Trustworthy: Share your feelings with someone you trust, such as a family member, close friend, or mental health professional. Talking about your fears and concerns can help you feel less alone and provide you with support and guidance.

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Focus on Positive Outcomes: Instead of focusing on negative outcomes and fears, try to think about the positive aspects of your life. Focusing on the good can help you build a more resilient and optimistic mindset.

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Engage in Hobbies and Interests: Participate in activities that take your mind off these dark thoughts. Engaging in hobbies that you enjoy can provide you with a sense of fulfillment and distraction.

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Set Career Goals: Setting career goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose. Research different fields and talk to people who inspire you. This can help you connect with the world around you and give you a reason to keep moving forward.

Understanding that you can control your reactions to uncontrollable situations is a crucial step in regaining a sense of control over your life. Viktor Frankl’s perspective offers a powerful reminder that the key to living a meaningful life lies in how we react to the challenges we face.

Life can be unpredictable, and you may face setbacks and obstacles. However, it is important to keep moving forward and find ways to make the most of each day. By taking these steps, you can work towards a more positive and fulfilling future.