Overcoming Intense Shame: A Guide to Bringing Difficult Subjects to Therapy

Overcoming Intense Shame: A Guide to Bringing Difficult Subjects to Therapy

It's completely understandable to feel ashamed of something, especially if it's something you've kept hidden for a long time. The fear of judgment or rejection can prevent us from discussing these painful feelings with anyone, even our therapists. However, there are ways to address and heal from such feelings without involving others.

Therapists Hear Everything: Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Unload

First and foremost, therapists are trained professionals who have heard everything. No matter what you're feeling ashamed of, it's not something that will surprise an experienced therapist. They have the capacity to handle even the most challenging situations with professionalism and empathy.

Journaling: A Powerful Tool for Healing

One effective method to start processing your intense shame is through journaling. It’s a private and therapeutic way to express yourself without fear of judgment. Purchase a nice notebook and get a comfortable pen. Commit to writing about your feelings for exactly 30 days. If you miss a day, make it up with several writing sessions, ensuring about a few hours between each. Surprisingly, this act alone can significantly reduce the weight of your feelings.

Seeking Guidance: When to Reveal and How to Do It

After 30 days of journaling, if you still feel the need to talk, you may begin by gradually opening up to your therapist. It’s important to consider if your therapist has the appropriate training and sensitivity to handle the issue. Trauma and shame-based disorders often require a certain level of sensitivity and specialized training.

Before deciding to reveal, ask yourself, 'Does she have the training to help me work through the issue once it's out in the open?' If your therapist is not sufficiently equipped to handle the situation, it may be beneficial to find someone else who is better prepared to address these issues.

Self-Forgiveness: Embracing Healing from Within

Self-forgiveness is a powerful tool that can aid in healing. Recognize that everyone, including therapists, experiences regret and feels some degree of shame. Remember, the goal is to understand and forgive yourself rather than to seek external validation.

Your spirituality can also provide a pathway to healing. Explore your spiritual beliefs and practices to find comfort and strength. Engaging with your spiritual journey can help you gain a new perspective and find peace.

Concluding Thoughts

While confronting intense shame can be challenging, it is a crucial step towards healing. Whether you decide to journal, seek professional help, or work on self-forgiveness, the key is to take the first step. Whatever you decide, I hope you find a way to let go of the shame you’re carrying and move towards a more peaceful and fulfilling life.