Overcoming Guilt After Cutting Ties with a Toxic Mother
Feeling a wave of guilt after severing ties with a toxic mother is a common experience, especially for those who have grown up in environments deeply influenced by narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Understanding the Root of Your Guilt
Your guilt is often rooted in conditioning from your NPD parent. You were trained from a young age to prioritize the family above all else and take responsibility for the happiness and stability of your parent.
This is a huge lie, part of the many manipulative tactics used to control you and meet their needs. The weight you carried was far beyond what you should have, given your age and lack of mental capability to meet impossible demands.
Why You Couldn't Fulfill Their Needs
As a child, you were too young to handle the complex emotional burdens of a NPD parent. The demands placed on you were unrealistic, and the expectations were unsatisfiable.
Your NPD parent, with their black hole of impossible demands, created an environment where it was near impossible to meet their needs. The responsibility was unreasonably placed on you, both when you were a child and as an adult.
Breaking Free from the Guilt
It is crucial to understand that this guilt is not based in reality. It is manufactured by your NPD parent through their twisted projections. It's a toxic cycle that you need to break free from.
Your parent's job as a parent was to care for you and ensure your safety. However, they failed in this fundamental responsibility, constantly placing an impossible burden on you.
Recognizing the Impact of NPD
Those who have cut ties with a toxic mother often have a long history of personal pain, shame, and humiliation. It is important to acknowledge that such experiences are not the fault of the child. You did not deserve any of the pain inflicted upon you.
The guilt you feel around ceasing contact is not based on any wrongdoing on your part. Recognizing this can bring a sense of relief and healing.
A Message of Empowerment
Toxicity kills, and you are well within your rights to take steps to save your own life. You have already sacrificed more than enough to your parent's disorder. Your perspective and well-being are paramount.
Recognize that your journey towards healing is valid, and you deserve to live a life free from the burdens of toxic relationships. Seek support from loved ones, professional guidance, or online communities to aid in your healing journey.
Moving forward, you can empower yourself by letting go of the guilt and focusing on your personal growth and well-being. Remember that your recovery is a journey worth every step.