Navigating the Storm: Coping with a Mentally Unstable Mother

It can be incredibly challenging to deal with a mother who is mentally unstable. Words “crazy” or “mentally unstable” are often used in a hurtful manner, leading to deep emotional pain. If your mother is causing significant distress, it might feel overwhelming to consider the next steps. But before making any drastic decisions, it's important to understand the complexities of the situation and explore various coping strategies.

Understanding the Dynamics

It's crucial to acknowledge the sacrifices and immense effort your mother has made throughout your upbringing. She has nourished you with both food and love, and despite her current mental instability, it's not something she chose. However, it's equally important to consider the impact of her behaviors on your well-being. If her actions are affecting you adversely, you might need to take steps back or reduce visitations. Reflect on the needs of both you and your mother, and consider who else she needs to depend on for support.

Severing the Relationship with Caution

It's understandable to consider severing ties with a family member who is causing you distress. However, it's essential to approach such decisions with caution. I, having witnessed a similar situation, severed my relationship with my father, who was abusive and narcissistic. My father saw our presence as a means to serve his ego, and while my mother had a spouse to rely on, she also had another child who turned to her for financial support. In this case, I had zero regrets, but it's a deeply personal and emotional choice.

Your mother, though behaving in a manner that may be hurtful, may not be acting out of malice or choice. Remember, she is not in a stable state of mind, just as we cannot expect humans to be in a mechanical setting like the washing machine. This perspective should help you understand her actions and their underlying causes.

Seeking Professional Help

One of the most effective ways to address the issue is by seeking professional help. Encourage your mother to see a doctor and accompany her for a diagnosis and potential treatments. There are resources and support systems available, such as courses that train individuals to live with and care for mentally unstable family members. Ensure that your mother has access to adequate healthcare and is not left alone to manage the situation.

Strategies for Coping

While professional help is essential, taking care of yourself is equally important. Here are a few strategies to consider:

Distance Yourself Safely: If the situation is overwhelming, take steps to reduce the stress your mother's actions are causing. This may mean limiting visitations or taking a break from the relationship. Seek Support: Reach out to family members or professionals who can provide support and guidance. There are community resources and support groups that can help you navigate the challenges you're facing. End Such Relationships if Necessary: If you're old enough and capable of living independently, it may be time to consider moving out. Start making plans to move out, such as going to college, acquiring new skills, sharing an apartment with someone, or ensuring you have a stable place to stay.

Concluding Thoughts

While it can be difficult to confront the reality of a mentally unstable parent, it's important to prioritize your well-being. Take steps to ensure you are not left to manage the situation alone and seek help when needed. Remember, while your mother's behavior may hurt you, it does not define her as a parent. Consider the broader context and take actions that will ultimately benefit both you and your mother.

With time and effort, you can find a way to cope and thrive, even in the face of such challenges. Good luck on your journey towards healing and self-care.