Navigating the Challenges of Hidden Disabilities
Living with invisible disabilities can be a daily challenge, often fraught with misunderstandings and assumptions. Like many with hidden conditions, I often face a unique set of struggles that others cannot see. For instance, my sciatica can make it extraordinarily painful to move downward to sit on a toilet and to move upwards after use. The struggle is not just physical; it's also social. More than once, visibly disabled individuals have commented on the accessibility options with a look that suggests they misunderstand the nature of my challenges. I often use washroom stalls with grab bars, a detail that often goes unnoticed, to help me navigate these situations more easily. However, such moments have led me to walk away, as there’s not much to gain from explaining further.
Another example is my memory issues. This is not Alzheimer's; it's a different kind of disorientation. As I age, my memory is actually improving because I now deal directly with past traumas. However, this can make social encounters awkward. When meeting people who clearly know me, yet I feel no recollection of who they are, the silence can be deafening. I've learned to let such incidents go, for it's too painful otherwise. Navigating these moments without breaking down is a skill I've had to develop over time.
On a day-to-day basis, I've developed various strategies to cope with my hidden disabilities. I take detailed notes to ensure I remember important conversations, prefer emails for a written record of discussions, and maintain a calendar to remember my appointments. I also write notes on doors and walls in my apartment to remind me of critical issues. For instance, I might write, “Chava, nothing to eat or drink before the x-ray!” Such reminders help me stay on track with daily tasks and medical appointments.
Occasionally, I may respond to unthinking comments that reveal the ignorance and prejudice that often surround invisible disabilities. For instance, purchasing a low income bus pass at the local transit office, I heard a comment that made me angry and decided to speak up. The person behind me saw the amount on the cash register and stated, "I wish I could get a subsidized bus pass!" The implication was clear: I was not entitled to it. In response, I said, "You want my subsidized bus pass? Do you want my cancer too?" The look on his face was priceless. While such moments can be emotionally taxing, they are a reminder of the ongoing fight against prejudice and misunderstanding.
Living with invisible disabilities is not an easy path. Each day brings a new set of challenges to navigate. However, by addressing them one at a time and sometimes engaging in honest, albeit difficult, conversations, I can continue to move forward. The journey is not always smooth, but it is a journey worth taking.