Is it Wrong Not to Attend Thanksgiving or Family Events Due to Lack of Contact?

As a 26-year-old male, you might feel that your lack of desire to attend Thanksgiving or family gatherings on your father's side is normal. Not going can be seen as a reasonable response, especially if your family never contacts you or ends up hurting and disappointing you when they do. It's important to prioritize your emotional well-being, whether that means spending time with friends, being alone, or indulging in your hobbies.

If you're feeling this way, it's important to find joy in your own life rather than being consumed by family dynamics that don't serve you. Consider going out with friends, spending time alone, or engaging in activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment. Remember, you have the right to do what makes you feel comfortable and supported.

How to Navigate Your Feelings

If you're feeling hurt and disappointed by the lack of contact from your family, it might be beneficial to consider a course in assertiveness. People often stop disrespecting you when you stop allowing it. Assertiveness can help you set boundaries and communicate your needs more effectively.

Reflect on your own behavior as well. Have you reached out to your family? It's surprising how many people complain about a lack of communication while admitting they haven't made an effort to contact the other party. If you are considering cutting off contact, it's important to weigh the pros and cons. Is it truly to your benefit, or could the issues be resolved with better communication and boundaries?

Empowering Yourself Through Self-Reflection

It’s not wrong to feel this way. You are entitled to your feelings, and it’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental health. You don't have to write yourself off as a victim of family circumstances. Instead, consider how you can take control of the situation. Sometimes, it’s not worth putting in the effort to change a relationship that is inherently destructive or unfulfilling.

Self-reflection can help you understand your own needs and desires. Ask yourself if maintaining these relationships adds value to your life or if it's more about maintaining tradition. For example, when you were younger, extended family on both sides was important to you. However, due to various reasons like distance or changing dynamics, those connections may have dissolved over time. This doesn’t mean you need to continue investing time and energy into relationships that do not serve you.

To quote a wise saying, “Be the change you want to see.” Just because these dynamics happened in the past, it doesn’t mean they have to continue into the future. You can choose to create new, healthier relationships that support your well-being and growth.

A Success Story

Every person's journey is different, and what works for one might not work for another. Consider the example of my son, who is currently 22. When my kids were young, extended family on both sides was a significant part of our lives. However, during and after the COVID-19 pandemic, connections with some family members dissolved for various reasons. Despite the challenges, my eldest son found a way to preserve his own connection with his family. This is a powerful example of how you can take control of your relationships and prioritize your own well-being.

He didn't allow existing dynamics to define his future. Instead, he focused on his own needs and the people who supported him. This is a testament to the power of assertiveness, setting boundaries, and making decisions that uplift you. His story can inspire you to take the same actions and find your own path towards a fulfilling and happy life.