Navigating Dreams vs. Reality: Dealing with Overzealous Advice

Have you ever encountered situations where your loved ones offer advice that, while well-intentioned, clashes directly with your dreams and aspirations? I recently faced a stark example of this when my relative got wind of my NEET (National Eligibility cum Entrance Test) results and started offering unsolicited advice.

The Unwelcome Advice at the Salon

Just the other day, I visited a salon to get my beard managed. The barber, who had just noticed my impressive beard, seemed quite impressed. His words, however, were a mixed blessing. After complimenting me on my beard, he turned the conversation towards beard care, suggesting that I should use beard oil and even mentioned the idea of insurance. While the compliment was genuine and the advice well-meaning, it was the latter that sparked a reflection on the merits and pitfalls of taking such unsolicited advice.

Let's hypothetically call the person narrating the story 'X', and the relative, 'Relative'. Relative had been busy with his son's Chemistry Hons course and job prospects. The conversation went something like this:

: Hey X, how are your NEET results?

: Not so satisfactory. I got 40k all India rank.

: Hmm, will you get a good college?

: I don't think so. I want to try once again for an academic gap year before reapplying.

: What year drop? Don't dare to do that. Take admission in any honours and continue your preparation. Don't waste a year.

These words, well-intended as they may be, put me in a reflective mood. Relative was completely oblivious to the fact that my passion for medicine began in childhood. Despite the advantage of an honors education, I felt that it was crucial to take a year to prepare properly.

Confronting Impractical Advice

Relative dismissed my decision with a dismissive attitude, blaming me for 'talking rubbish' and stating that entrance exams are getting tougher every year. It was at that moment that I realized that not everyone around us truly understands the depth of our dreams and aspirations. This realization made me pause and reflect on how often we allow others' judgments to hinder our own paths.

When I finally turned the conversation back to Relative, he revealed that his son had dropped out of honors and was now pursuing a pass course. Despite this new insight, I couldn't help but feel that Relative's advice was rooted in a desire to see his son succeed rather than my own wishes.

: What's your son doing now?

: He was pursuing Chemistry Hons but the honors got cut and he's now doing a pass course. He'll get a job soon.

: Hmm Uncle, you should arrange for your son's job instead of interfering in my life. My dream is my dream; none of your dreams.

: Beta tum ajkaal...

: Ok Uncle, goodbye. I've got to start my next year's preparation seriously. See you!!

The conversation ended abruptly with reluctance on both sides, but it raised a very pertinent question: why do we let others' opinions and criticisms cloud our own dreams?

Believing in Yourself

Throughout the years, I've learned that the greatest obstacles to our dreams often come from ourselves and those closest to us. The constant bombardment of other people's expectations can undermine our confidence and potential. When faced with unsolicited advice, it's important to stand firm in your convictions and recognize that your own dreams are just as valid as anyone else's.

Every day, countless individuals face pressure from well-meaning relatives, friends, and mentors. The key is to discern the advice that aligns with your path and to filter out the rest. It can be challenging, but ultimately, the fulfillment of your dreams lies within your own hands.

So, the next time you hear that advice, pause and reflect: does it truly align with your dreams? If not, trust in yourself and move forward with confidence. Dream big, and never let anyone else's doubts stand in your way.