Why Do Narcissists Leave You Without a Word but Still Try to Keep Tabs on You?

A narcissist would not do this unless they are afraid of you. If they are keeping an eye on you, it is to monitor what you are saying about them or if you are attempting to contact anyone they know.

Their actions might indicate that there is some underlying resentment they feel, even if they pretend to be detached. If a person seems in love with you and cannot get over you, that person is not a narcissist. Narcissists do not love. They are detached predators who do not invest emotionally or romantically because they derive satisfaction from external validation and control.

3 Reasons That Narcissists Keep Tabs on You:

1. They Want You as a Backup Source of Narcissistic Supply

When a relationship with a narcissist ends, whether it is a friendship, family member, romantic partner, or colleague, they will quickly find a new person to be their source of narcissistic supply. However, just because they have a new source of supply does not mean they are done with you. Since you were once a valuable source of narcissistic supply for them, they feel entitled to maintain power and control over you for as long as they desire.

Narcissists rely on external validation and control from others to feel stable, and they will try to maintain access to their previous sources of this narcissistic supply even after a relationship ends. This means that the narcissist in your life is probably still monitoring you as a backup option, ensuring their needs are met.

2. They Want to Watch You Suffer

This desire stems from the fact that deep down, narcissists have a lot of painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they cannot deal with in healthy ways because they lack emotional skills. One strategy narcissists use to protect their own emotional stability is through a defense mechanism called projection. This is when they take parts of their own identity that they do not like and put those onto someone else instead. By belittling and degrading others, the narcissist can defocus their own insecurities and point the blame elsewhere.

Another reason is that they want to see you suffer because they are terrified of exposing their true self. When a narcissist abusively harms someone, this person can see through the false public image the narcissist has created. To prevent this, narcissists might use these controlling behaviors to protect their carefully constructed public persona.

3. They Want to Control How Others See You

Narcissists are actually terrified of the people they abuse; they are absolutely terrified. Narcissists spend their entire lives building and protecting the public image or persona they present to the world. This public persona makes them seem charming, confident, intelligent, and successful. This persona is how narcissists get the validation, admiration, and control they need to feel good about themselves.

However, the people they abuse can see past this false public image because they have experienced the narcissist's true abusive nature. This is terrifying for a narcissist because they know that if they lose power and control over the person they abuse, that person could expose their true self to others and ruin their carefully crafted public image. By keeping an eye on you, they try to influence how others perceive you, preventing any negative impact on their public persona.

Resources for Dealing with Narcissists

You might be interested in reading more about the strategies narcissists use and how to handle them:

5 Code Words Narcissists Use 5 Ways to Torture a Narcissist How a Narcissist Reacts When You’ve Become Too Strong! 5 Signs God is Showing You the Narcissist 7 Words That Destroy a Narcissist 3 People Narcissists Cannot Tolerate 9 Tactics a Narcissist Uses to Break You 6 Things That Hurt a Narcissist Forever! The Best Way to Put Narcissists in Their Place 5 Things a Narcissist Does When They're Alone Avoid Making These 6 Mistakes Around the Narcissist

Understanding the psychology behind narcissistic behavior can help you navigate these complex and often emotionally draining situations more effectively.