Narcissists: The Game They Play and How You Can Outsmart Them

In the complex world of interpersonal relationships, narcissists often display a peculiar behavior: they believe they are smarter than their victims. This belief is not always rational; it is a strategic facade used to maintain their superiority and control. Understanding the psychology behind this mindset can help you navigate their manipulations and protect yourself more effectively.

The Psychology Behind Narcissist's High Opinion of Themselves

Narcissists tend to believe that they are smarter than everyone around them. This belief stems from their overinflated self-esteem. They are constantly seeking validation and attention, and when their delusions are challenged, they can become extremely reactive. A cycle of high self-opinion and low self-esteem often underlies their behavior, as they use their facade of intelligence as a defense mechanism. While outwardly, they appear superior, they often struggle with feelings of inferiority, feeding into their need to compete and assert dominance.

The Tactic of Outsmarting Narcissists

Their seems to be a pattern among many individuals who deal with narcissists: they can be extraordinarily intelligent but paradoxically, their victims can outsmart them. This is because narcissists often rely on emotional manipulation and cognitive distortions. When these tactics are consistently used against them, they become aware of their vulnerabilities and the limitations of their intelligence. Here’s how you can counter these tactics:

Legal and Medical Matters: A classic example can be seen in a personal anecdote. The author’s mother, a highly educated nurse, still believed herself to be smarter than her family members, despite her behavior being driven by delusions of grandeur. When her daughter disagreed with her medical opinion, the conflict highlighted the delusions of the mother. Similarly, in a legal or medical setting, a narcissist might overlook facts that a more astute observer would notice.

Manipulative Actions: When a narcissist attempts to outsmart the smartest person in the family or their circle, their actions often backfire. The author’s sister and the grandmother described above are not easily convinced, and the mother’s attempts to deceive them repeatedly fail. This is because the individuals involved have become skilled at reading through the facade and recognizing the tactics used by the narcissist.

Using Knowledge Against Them: Knowledge is arguably the best weapon against a narcissist. A covert narcissist, who is not highly educated but gains knowledge about a specific area (like psychology or medicine), can be outmaneuvered. They often rely on their perceived superiority in these areas, which can be exploited. For instance, dissatisfaction with their medical knowledge and expertise can be effectively challenged using more precise information about specific conditions.

Conversations and Planning: One memorable instance was when the author’s mother tried to implicate her father in a false accusation. Her lack of foresight and strategic planning, coupled with her delusions of grandeur, led to her failure. The author’s father, recognizing the telltale signs of a narcissistic ploy, provided a counterexample of his astuteness and strategic thinking. This moment not only exposed the mother’s lack of sophistication but also illustrated how intelligence can be used to outmaneuver a narcissist.

In summary, narcissists often see themselves as superior and smarter than their victims, driven by a facade of ego and inferiority. By understanding their patterns and utilizing knowledge and intelligence, you can navigate their manipulations more effectively and protect yourself from emotional and psychological harm.