Memories and Reflections: Creepy Experiences, Sexual Violence, and Cultural Shifts

Growing up in Saratoga, California, surrounded by a community that seemed oddly normal at the time, I was often exposed to unsettling memories that adulthood has since revealed as extremely unsettling and, in some cases, inappropriate. In this essay, I will reflect on a few instances that, while seemingly normal in my childhood, now stand out as creepy and disturbing.

Close Proximity of School and Cemetery

My childhood home was just a stone's throw away from Saratoga Elementary School, and even closer to the nearby cemetery. This proximity was something that didn't seem remarkable to me at the time, but now appears quite peculiar in retrospect. It was not uncommon for us children to explore the cemetery, and we even attended funerals that were held there. One of the most memorable occasions was a funeral procession that we witnessed along Oak Street.

It was a funeral for a boy's sister who had been murdered. I distinctly remember the curtains being drawn in their house after the tragic news. The family moved away soon after, and I never heard from the boy again. This experience, now viewed from the lens of adulthood, is both eerie and unsettling. It was during these six years, from 1964 to 1970, at Saratoga Elementary that I encountered many other strange and unsettling occurrences. Reflecting on these experiences, what initially seemed normal now feels like a window into a disturbingly different era.

The Consumption of Sexual Violence in Entertainment

Another aspect of my childhood that now seems disturbing is the amount of sexual violence in entertainment, particularly in films. Back then, the violence in movies was mostly PG or, at the most, PG-13. However, if people from 100 years ago were to see a film like SAW, they would likely question whether we had become like the Romans, who enjoyed watching people being slaughtered for entertainment. The shock value and brutality depicted in today's movies would have been unimaginable to them.

Open Homosexuality and Cocaine Use

At the turn of the 20th century, open homosexuality was frowned upon, and even the coca-cola formula once contained cocaine. These cultural norms and practices are vastly different from what we see today. Looking back, it's fascinating to consider how drastically our society has changed in the past century.

Reflections on Adult and Childhood Behavior

As I reflect on both my adult and childhood years, certain behaviors become more pressing to evaluate. For instance, I remember being extremely sexually active and flirtatious as a young man. In my 20s, it was still acceptable to be aggressively flirtatious with women. However, now that I'm nearly 60, I find that such behavior is less acceptable. While I never intended to be seen as crude or disrespectful, the simple passage of time and changing societal norms have meant that being merely attractive isn't the same as it once was.

An Unusual Childhood Experience: The Family Bath

One of the most peculiar moments from my childhood was when my mother bathed my brother and me in the bathtub with her. At the time, I thought nothing of it, and even after many years, it didn't register as unusual. However, upon reflection, I realize that the situation was far from normal. Growing up, I initially accepted various behaviors as normal that, with the benefit of hindsight, appear quite inappropriate.

Reflecting on these memories and experiences, it's clear that what seemed normal in childhood is often reevaluated and found to be quite unsettling when viewed through the lens of adulthood. As society evolves, our perceptions of what is normal and appropriate change as well. These reflections serve as a reminder of how much we have learned about dignity, respect, and appropriateness over the years.