Marriage Without Love: Survival and Success

Is it possible for a marriage to survive without the traditional concept of 'love'? The answer, based on extensive observation and experience, is a resounding yes, but with certain conditions. A marriage can function without romantic love if built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and a commitment to the well-being of the partnership and shared goals.

Understanding Companionate Love

Relationships based on companionship, mutual support, and practical considerations can indeed thrive and endure over time. This form of love is often referred to as 'companionship love,' where the emotional bond is rooted in the value each partner brings to the relationship.

The Myth of True Love

The modern narrative of true love—a phenomenon often considered dead by the end of the 1990s—has given rise to misandry and a cultural shift. Boys are often expected to compromise, while girls struggle with understanding love. The results can be tragic, leading to divorce, murder, suicide, or an inability to form lasting and fulfilling relationships.

Achieving Long-Term Success in Marriage

Many of what we call 'love' today have little to do with genuine emotional connections. The concept of falling 'in love' due to infatuation is not a reliable foundation for a successful marriage. True love in a marriage is more about consistent effort and acceptance over time.

According to Fred Rogers, creator of 'Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood,' love is not a passive state but an active process. He posits that 'to love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is right here and now.'

The Empty Box and the Full Box

Marriage often starts as an empty box, as noted in a passage that has been widely shared but remains unnamed. The true essence of love and romance must be infused into the relationship, much like adding content to an empty box. Couples must learn to give, serve, praise, and maintain the relationship. If more is taken out than given, the relationship will indeed become empty.

Conclusion

While it may seem counterintuitive, a marriage without love can indeed survive and succeed. The key lies in the commitment to mutual respect, understanding, and the active practice of loving each other. By shifting our focus from immediate infatuation to the enduring commitment of companionship, marriages can thrive and remain fulfilling over the long term.