Do You Think People Should Get Re-Married After a Failed First Marriage?

Marriage is often seen as a lifelong commitment, a declaration of love and dedication. However, not every marriage is successful. How should individuals approach the possibility of re-marriage after a failed first marriage?

Compatibility and Honesty Matter More Than Love

Having a first marriage that did not work out can leave individuals questioning whether they should consider re-marriage. It is vital to choose partners who are compatible and honest, rather than merely compatible and unhappy. A successful marriage requires more than just emotions; it demands honesty and understanding.

My Personal Experience

I entered into a marriage, and unfortunately, it did not work out. Since then, I have stayed single for over two decades, and I am content with my choice. I have remarried twice, but the first marriage was challenging due to step-children and family dynamics, a story I prefer not to recount.

The diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) six weeks into the marriage significantly impacted my character, leading to a change in my nature. I was not the person I had married nor the one I could have become. This experience highlights that re-marriage depends on personal growth and compatibility over time.

Making the Right Choice: Breaking Vows or Looking for Growth?

Once married, individuals often take an oath to be united 'in sickness and in health till death do us part.' This vow remains binding, and re-marriage is not considered permissible under these conditions. Therefore, divorce is an option, but re-marriage is generally not.

However, there are exceptions. If one learns from past mistakes and seeks personal growth, there might be a possibility of re-marriage. Yet, if the choice of partners is consistently incorrect, re-marriage is less likely to succeed.

A Secular Perspective on Re-Marriage

I adopt a more modern and progressive view on marriage, believing that people should prioritize their happiness. Marriage is not necessary for a loving partnership; it is a choice. If an individual has been married and divorced, there is no need to re-enact the ceremony. This perspective is shaped by the experiences of friends and personal beliefs.

Someone once advised me, "Why marry and mess up a good relationship?" This perspective strongly influences my view. For others, if the desire to marry again after a divorce arises, they have the power to do so.

Misguided Advice and Broader Insights

A popular saying advises: "First time you marry for sex, the second time for love, and the third time for money." While this is not always the case, it suggests that individuals should learn from their first marriage to avoid repeating the same mistakes in subsequent relationships.

trust in a relationship, especially after a divorce, is crucial. It may be necessary to go through a lot of therapy or self-reflection to build trust. Moving on from past divorces and learning from the experience can better prepare individuals for future relationships.

While some might argue that one should never remarry after a divorce, the reality is that if the right person comes along, individuals might know exactly what they are looking for and what they will not tolerate immediately.

Factors Affecting Re-Marriage

Professions like acting and performing can complicate the decision to re-marry. The lifestyle often involves long absences and the presence of attractive fans or other celebrities. However, some celebrities, like Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, have a strong and honest relationship that involves a lot of communication and humor.

For couples like Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, their on-and-off relationship might be partially driven by mutual love and understanding, despite the complications. Cyrus is clear about her desire to avoid settling down, and she understands the differences between being single and married.

Ultimately, individuals should weigh their personal situations and goals when considering re-marriage. If they learn from past experiences and have a clear idea of their needs and preferences, they may find the right match in their second or subsequent marriages.