Living with Parents Post-College: Expectations and Realities
Returning to the parental home after college can present a unique set of expectations and challenges for adult children. These expectations can vary widely based on individual circumstances, societal attitudes, and generational dynamics. This article explores the common expectations and realities associated with adult children living with their parents after college graduation.
Financial Pressures and Economic Factors
These days, the decision to live with parents post-college is often driven by financial considerations. Low starting salaries and high housing prices can make it difficult for young adults to achieve financial independence. While their parents might have had a more stable path to independent living, adult children today may struggle to secure well-paid employment that allows them to move out into their own homes.
Additionally, the young adults often feel a sense of embarrassment or pressure to move out, as their living arrangements might be considered less than ideal. However, this is often a reflection of the economic circumstances of the previous generation, which might not have been as economically sound as initially thought. The blame for these circumstances often falls on the previous generation for not managing the economy effectively.
Financial Contributions and Household Chores
Most parents living with their adult children expect some form of financial contribution to household expenses. The amount can vary from a token sum to full reliance on their adult children's income. Household chores, such as cleaning, cooking, and laundry, are also expected, but unlike younger children, adult children are usually expected to take on these responsibilities without needing to be assigned or monitored as closely.
For example, a parent might expect an adult child to keep the upstairs clean, while they handle cleaning other areas. If dishes need to be done, the adult child is expected to take care of this without being specifically assigned the task. This expectation of shared responsibility is often built on mutual agreement and trust between the parent and child.
Sexual Morality and Relationships
The influences of sexual morality on living arrangements with parents can significantly vary. In some households, parents may insist that their adult children do not bring partners back to the house and may set curfews to reduce the temptation for sexual intercourse. However, these expectations are less common in the modern era, where parents tend to be more permissive regarding dating and relationships.
If parents do not place significant importance on sexual morality, having a partner stay over overnight may be more acceptable. Nevertheless, the parent-child relationship and the level of trust present in the household will heavily influence these expectations. The dialogue between the parents and their adult children regarding such matters is crucial for a smooth household dynamics.
Communication and Respect for Boundaries
Even when living with parents, adult children are expected to communicate their whereabouts and plans. The advent of mobile phones has made communication more effortless and frequent, but misunderstandings and disagreements can still arise. Some adult children may still exhibit teenage-like behavior, seeking conflict with their parents due to perceived personal safety or autonomy issues.
However, many adult children have matured and have learned to respect boundaries and the practicalities of family living. As adults, they understand that while they can maintain a level of independence, their actions and decisions will still impact the household. Parents, too, can adapt and respect the new dynamics, recognizing that their adult children are adults with their own lives and responsibilities to manage.
Conclusion
The expectation of adult children living with parents post-college is a multifaceted issue influenced by financial, social, and generational factors. While there are common expectations and responsibilities, the specifics can vary greatly depending on the family dynamics and individual circumstances. Understanding and navigating these expectations can help foster a more harmonious and successful living arrangement.
Key Takeaways:
Financial stability and housing prices impact living arrangements. Expectations for financial contributions and household responsibilities vary. Modern parents are more permissive regarding dating and relationships. Communication and mutual respect significantly influence household dynamics.