Living Apart Together: An Unconventional Relationship Arrangement
I do not find the term 'normal' particularly relevant in this context. Each person has their own unique relationship or lifestyle, and if this arrangement suits you, then there is nothing inherently wrong with it. In fact, if you are content with your current Situation, then that is perfectly fine. However, if you are considering seeking a more formal commitment such as marriage, you might want to reflect on whether living apart is a good idea for you.
The term 'normal' often implies 'average', and being average does not necessarily equate to happiness. If your relationship is fulfilling and suits your needs, then that is all that matters. Whether or not you choose to live together is a personal decision and should be based on what is best for your wellbeing.
LAT: The Acronym for Living Apart Together
Couples who choose to live apart but maintain an intimate relationship have an acronym to describe their situation: LAT or 'Living Apart Together'. This arrangement has been widely practiced by successful couples who are constantly on the move. For power couples, it can be easier to maintain a separate lifestyle for work for much of the year and reunite during holidays, vacations, and projects in between.
In recent years, the number of LAT couples has been on the rise. Some estimates suggest that over a decade ago, as many as 10% of the adult population in Western Europe, North America, and Australasia maybe lived in such a situation. However, this number may be slightly underestimated, as many couples may not identify themselves using such a formal label.
Resources and Benefits of LAT
Living apart together does require more resources. Couples need to be able to afford and maintain two residences to live separately. Many couples must pool their financial resources to even afford one home. In some cases, having a separate "man cave" or "she shed" can be a way for couples to maintain their independence.
While LAT is still not the norm, it is possible that many couples desire this arrangement but cannot afford it. My spouse and I have been dreaming of having a plot of land to build three separate homes: one for each of us and one for entertaining guests. Couples are finding creative ways to achieve the benefits of living apart together within their means.
Ultimately, What Matters Most
Being 'normal' does not necessarily mean desirable or good. If your relationship is good for you, then that is all that matters. It is important to focus on what is best for your individual needs and circumstances. Whether or not you live together should not be solely determined by societal expectations or average practices.
For those curious about LAT, here is an article that explores the benefits and dynamics of this relationship arrangement:
Further Reading
Exploring LAT: Living Apart Together in Relationships